Showing posts from 2014


Who would have thought at the age of 45, Id be training in a new career, have a roommate, open a company and be on a wind whirl of life? Well this happened. After the unsettling strike, cut in hours at the Vancouver School Board, I decided to take a hard look at my life in many areas.  Some decisions almost made me homeless and food less on many of the months..I have lost friends, distant myself from family and I can only say that in the long run my choices have been solid. The people that kept in contact and stuck around have known all along the choices I have had to make. For a better lack of word, they have shown up.

So I thought Id share a bit, after not writing for sometime. I realized I really was fucked when the VSB went on strike and I would not qualify for Unemployment Insurance due to federal debt. My time was Sushi dog time, at 330 pm I'd be home, Giving my dog loves, taking her out, giving her medication, having a hour of cuddle time- then just before Halloween, Sushi …

The Boyfriend

So what does it mean to have a boyfriend? Does it mean you have someone to go to dinner with, open doors, cuddle with? Someone you are intimate with ?have fun with and do things with?
Candlelight dinners, surprises, sneaking off to his place finding surprises there? maybe a short trip?
Dancing, venues events, meeting his friends your friends and family? Planning things you want to do together, receiving help in life or home?Talking on the phone for hours, telling long hold tales of your day, and having that instinctive interest to share n provide?

You would think these are all the things a boyfriend provides you with and via versa. In Vancouver this is not what I have found. I have found disagreeableness and intimate conversations only relayed in text messages. A communication blockage on all levels.

Most couples don't have their shit together, or one might but the other does not.It is the same as taking that step in a open coffee house to smile at a pretty girl and ask for her n…

Letter 850

Letter 850

Dear Father,

I hope you are well up there and enjoying your time with Papa and Nana. It has been some time,
and even though 365 letters is incomplete, I need to write this evening. I will be saying some rather harsh words to your daughters this evening, and this does not come easy.

After the funeral, unfortunately you wish did not come to fruition. In fact the family had moved farther apart. I needed much clarity on the dealings of your estate and your belongings and thus in trying to receive information, that I was cast out.

I decided after much hurt, the pain of dealing with it all was better left on someone else s doorstep.
So I started to live my life for me. I kept in contact with the people I felt warranted my presence but with a minimal effort.

There are no benefits to me and my health in  sustaining something that I have absolutely no control over. As I started to really involve myself in the book of insanity and the 365 letters of communication to you, to heal my r…

The Jennie Is Free

R.I.P Robin Williams
You were and are loved my many threw your laughter, kindness in community and spirit. My heart goes out to your family and closest friends. Laura Gold
The title of my blog was a very heartwarming tweet today, on the news of the death of Robin Williams. 
I grew up with Robin in my home all my life and always wanted to meet him.

It was a cold winter in Vancouver,  I think around 2006, the stores downtown were open very late, maybe 24 hrs.

I was working as a manager for Biotherm in cosmetics and also relief for the floor manager, we received a call- a odd call that Robin Williams would like to have a personal shopper for the evening and would be arriving at 11pm.

The Robin I saw was almost unrecognizable, and looked something like the picture below.

However his cloths were casual. Robin came in slightly disheveled and I met him at the door.
quiet and shy at first nothing much was said, he looked stressed. I asked what he had in mind, he said he didn't even know …

The Breaking Of So Great A Thing, Should Make A Greater Crack, William Shakespeare

A well minded senior citizen shit her pants today,  the poop was completely up her white polyester pants,  the senior, panting and crying, struggling with her walker to rush into a washroom outside of Target US today. I was in the stall next.

I was with two long term friends, and I heard my one friends voice crack, as she said " are you ok? Please let me help you", I quickly came out of the stall to talk to the women and told her I worked in residential care. I asked if she minded if I cleaned her up a bit.

 "Shirley said, Please help me" The janitor was keen to give me some gloves, and I was able to quickly  undress and clean up miss Shirley and wash her soiled cloths with Shirley's Diva 70 something year old friend, with only one eye, was standing by telling us just a few things.

 Ms Shirley recently had a hip replacement and several other aliments, including cancer, Shirley had almost no control of her muscles left in her legs, or bowels for that matter and…

I RefuZe to Settle

To me it's funny when I hear from a girlfriend, that they will not settle for less, then they deserve. Then to say, "I deserve the best, goddammit!" I did allot with my time during the 3 years I was single and entertained myself with women's groups, and actual university courses about achievement, physical training with mastership with coaching. One of the best coaches I had , was a trainer at Steve Nash- Married, and originally from the US, very fit. His wife was 260 pounds! I said, "I am shocked at your wife being of a larger proportion" He said, " She has everything and more that I could ask for in a wife, and we are working towards a amazing fit life together"
I only found this out, because he was planning the wedding, and as we trained we talked, boy did we talk. I had gone on a handful of dates, and during a core session decided to share the horrid tales of all the men I went on dates with. What I forgot however, is all the horrid details I…

On Foot..Will Travel

Well it's been sometime since I've written here-
I have been busy working on a book, revamping and editing. I have also been busy working some other projects. One being, my Life.

It has taken some serious time to understand what I am supposed to do, what I am good at, my strengths. All this progress in understanding, has continued to happen through loss and removal.

It was a short time ago, I thought, I had yet again been challenged with life's hurtles, my ceiling caved in I had to move, my pet was ill, the bills were high..then this all settled for a bit.

A new wave came in April, Job action strike, this time both pets being sick, less and less work, till this all came to a head where I have no vehicle. The extra time on hands, had given me time to care for the pets, networking to find help in a assortment of areas, my company, my talents in art and publishing, possible school, new love, new friendships-fitness levels increased. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything, a…

30DC Day 5

Well thus far its not going too well, I did a 2 hour walk..whoopee, Lameo.

I registered for a Nutrition Coarse today, quite helpful in many areas, I mean I was great on my diet quizzes ..regularly..but not recently. Some fun facts I did not know were awesome.

I also realized today I left the house with a tight see threw top that showed a muffin top. The weigh in was a 138lbs, this may seem small to people struggling with weight. However for me it is a drastic change, I have worked very hard to keep the diabetes in check and keep very fit and healthy and maintain a size 6, at a weight of 126.5 is ideal for me. I am at least a size 8/10 currently.

My heart n head has been hurting lately- ever since the move to Delta..and a few other things.
I remember after Sushi had her poop walk n cuddles, I d head to HillCreast Community Rec Center and do my workout and then hit main streets salad bar, or a health drink, reminisce with people I just saw at the gym, and sometimes walk home because it…

30DC- 01 to 04

Day 1 Eve

Made massive lunch( I do have to pack some Turkey there is just to much)Packet energy veggies, juice, vitaminsPacked Gym/Runners Bag for UBC Gym n Track at 630 am1 hour of LITS Done( Leave it tomorrow shit)Bedtime program:20mins of stretch Yoga15 min meditation10 breaths n 8oz of H20Actual Bedtime 1030PM

Here we go!

I made it!! I got up at 530 and was at UBC by 630 sharp, ran around the track on Ross Drive, school security man let me into the brand new gym by 730 and I did a massive workout. feeling great!
Followed food plan till 3pm, and then I was very sleepy- got home and felt so tired I wanted to die. Had a two hour nap-FUCK

Didn't sleep well all night. :(

Well the only thing stinky was me...:( cause it was Shark Day... Probably the worse period of my life.. no getting up at 5am, I slept till 7am... My friend decided that evening, that this was a good time to do taxes, however I had to get a massive folder ready for a important interview by the morning..I realized I f…

My 30 Day Challange..Cause Everyone has one Right?

Start Date: April 23
Yup after Easter Turkey-by the way this is not edited yet- so screw off.

No Meat, Fitness 7 Days A Week 2 Daily Wellness Practices Per Day One Juice per day 2 hrs of LITS A Night

I Love this question, don't you?Not. This was the 30 day blogging challenge by The Single Women .Net
Lets get right down to it, shall we. Men are Stupid in Vancouver. There I said it, and sometimes Women are stupid too. I am not doing a blogging challenge- lets just be clear. I decided to just make myself accountable for 30 days no matter how tired or sore I was. Id say I have a nice little muffin top, I have gone up a jean size- however I look better with weight on, it just needs to be toned and honestly- I had some issues this last month.
I sat up from a low chair and my lower back went out, prior to that my shoulder and arm is screwed up- Doc said my whole shoulder and arms were out of whack, and of coarse suggested Physio- last time I went it, did nothing, I take the pills stretch…

You are not IT

That time when you chatted me up and asked for my number, and then decided that our entire form of communication would be text messages. You are not Him.

 After that meet-up we had, you failed to bring flowers and ask me on a real date and assumed I would hang out with you. You are not that It.

That time we went for the hike..and you assumed I was your buddy.

You feel you have the right to tell me your sexual thoughts and touch me, however you reside with someone, or pursue someone else, my dad always told me to make sure I was number one- You are not my first choice, because I was not yours.

 If I was pre-occupied or heart broken, or torn..that, that guy would wait..He would stay and be there for me, and wait. You would be that friend with all the humanitarian qualities.

You forgot to randomly call me and ask how my day was..because you thought of me in some random moment.

that surprise you did, ..oh that was me, not you.

In my mind all the ideas of romanticism are not you-…


The process of Elimination can be building blocks for problem solving, One can do the leg work on there own, or the universe will work in there favor when asked, and next thing you know shit is happening, and your freaking out, but if you think hard on why and are aware...You may just learn something.

 My life for the last year has been a process of Elimination.  Some of my own doing and some events were the universe saying things need to change.

Family: Sometimes family can be stressful, hurtful and toxic- Sometimes you need to take a break. I did in October, this was my choice- I felt ongoing stress and also if people do not enrich your life and support you and enhance who you are- then why have them there to bring you down all the time.

Toxic Friendships- Everyone has them, the complainers that complain but never do anything about it, the constant boozers and pub goer's- I find it more interesting to go to events, walks other cities, book stores and secret finds of the city so you…

The Dating Game

Remember that show from the 80's? Very fun and funny! Here's a old clip !

It was suggested on Facebook that I go to the event, can't really remember from who, I actually did not know what it was, but hit the link. I received a email with a question are that was quite randy, and request for photo. I was chosen as a contestant. I headed down to the awesome little pub!

To meet the two hosts and other contestants, there were two sets, 3 women and 3 men. The host immediately ordered us martinis and shots and was just awesome to be around! Jeremy and David who are in Media of sorts have really hit a niche for making this little pub a great place to be, several events happen, during the week and this new show will be a weekly event. Tons of prizes and the date night paid in full from the club.
I had a blast sitting with the two other women and the 3 male contestants, we had a gorgeous 20 something shopaholic that follows the Kardashians   like a bible, another mid 20 something s…

Colors & Textiles

You ever have those dreams where its so real you can taste it, It never happened, but you wake up feeling like it did? It's like juicy kisses that last so long and you can't get enough..I remember

Colors of a painting that are vibrant and just enter the canvas and next thing you know its something great...a simple day dream of being somewhere else, or just enjoying where you are. I have felt this lately. On a trail, snowy and whimsical at night, the snow glistens and looks feel like you are in a graphic artist movie because you cant believe how magical it all is, the cool air catches in your breath and you can feel a numb tingle to your cheeks. The snow on the trees make everything look like ice caves as you climb higher.
Once I enter the warm cabin of cypress mountain, and order my coco..there is a hub and a vibe that is so magical you wish you could just go to your cabin, and have a hot tub and be with someone special for the night.

.... Or the hot sand in your toe…