Showing posts from 2012

Dysfuntional Journal....Bah Hum Bug & Innocent Are We

I told a worker today a breathful of stuff, mostly situations that occurred when I was  a single parent, because the topic arose.  The women, gagged at one point, and went to the kitchen, then said "how did you keep working" I simply said, " I had too'. I explained that I do have immense moments of sadness. I seem to attract sadness and sorrow in my life for many years-but I keep functioning and moving forward- this year has been the hardest year of my life and I am thankful that it is almost over and I have a new handful of friends to carry into the new year that are positive seekers and very strong characters.

In the movie "Love Eat Pray" Julia Roberts is told for once just to clear her mind and forgive herself. In the movie I feel she has nothing to forgive herself for.
This is the eternal grief a person carries, when they have situations in their life they have no control over.

In the Philippines, a child tormented by a demon can mean as simple as a c…

World Orphans

Project China has found a organization to work with for my fundraising project!!
Check out the link! and support today!
World Orphans

So This Is Christmas...

And what have I done?

The last 10 years I have hated Christmas. My kids were grown, always poor..I also typically work the season in group homes, sew and bake for all the people I care for.

My boys just really lost interest in Christmas and never made it much special for me. The last two years my young son would cook a huge feast, then the evening would be drinking and poker, and we would open our pathetic gifts in the morning. It has just been the shits really.

This year I have a list. The list will have all the things I missed over Christmas for some time. I did most of my shopping in early November so I would not find myself short over the holidays.

Many events over Christmas are religious.  I have never belonged to a church over the last 10 years because one, they make me cry when I go in them and two, I love an assortment of religions.

I follow the ways of Buddha mostly, "We create our own paths in life"  I love all sorts of community. This week I went back to my favori…


Back Fucking Office...

A young wise man said to me, "Work with what you have, then exceed the bar"
A person may say, you should do the necessity tasks in preparation of a large trip that is planned, however quite frankly, I think one should do what I am doing on a monthly basis , then they would never have to deal with the back fucking office.

I was up till 3am last night. I filled bankruptcy in 2011, and every month you have to keep every receipt, log them into a ledger in date order- take them out of order and put them in categories; grocery, gas...crap pile...then you enter the groups onto the budget sheet. The trustee takes off your expenses, takes the left over income, which is called residue income, splits it in two. The trustee then takes half to pay all the debt and you get to keep half. You do not get to decide what your expense's are. If you need 7 new pairs of ginch, you are shit out of luck. The more money I make, the more they take.

I remember happily think…

Project China

I mentioned yesterday it has been my intend for a long time to work aboard.  Many of my friends and family are asking why, some are very supportive and some not.

I will start the program to teach English in January. I hope to spend summer visiting all my relatives and then finally rapping up my place here to leave for China in August or September 1st. Hopefully the house will be packed away by June.

Sometimes you get to a point where you have to let things go. All your material crap, drama and burdens in life to create a new one. I really thought I did this before. I down sized my material goods, got rid of 20 bags of clothing, filed rid of the 60K SUV.

What I failed to miss was real purpose, I still have crap..I still work like a dog and own nothing. I am happy when I have time to do things like hike and dragon boat..but I am so exhausted from stress I can't really enjoy them anymore-I feel like I am in a rat race in Vancouver.

I have had plenty a guardian angel…

Palm Readers and Awakening Conversations

Hi and welcome to my neighborhood.

It was really bothering me this year that I have not set out on my quest I originally intended to do when I did my vision boards in 2011. My quest was to do some sort of work abroad... GVixen is about to go International.

I had yet another hard year and gave up my drive for drama. I fell in love a few times, worked in different areas of my field. Stressed about my kids and family and finance..and it all led to the same thing. Still thinking about stress and drama and crap.

I started to ask people in my work field about ways to make this a reality. Teaching abroad was something I knew Id always do- but thought it would take much more years of school to get there, not so. I will write a different post on my Project China. I will be leaving hopefully by either June or August. My life here in Vancouver will be for sale, and my new one will begin.

This was a 4 day weekend for me, I did work here and there, but along the way I had very harmonious conversat…

Old Topic..Review

A reader asked what recently happened to my posts of the letters, the 365 letters I had posted.

Where was I on the grief?  I have refrained from my 365 letters because in fact, the letters have been turned into a book. I am sure no one wants to hear about someone dealing with grief on a daily basis for 365 days, what is the point of that? It's depressing. I decided this would make better, a book, on grief counsel. The book  is based on a women going through loss and grief, with humor and a little crazy.  I am thankful I have had some amazing support on the book from a friend who is a psychologist and am excited about the release sometime in the future.

We have a choice to be sad or happy, to move forward or not too. I am still dealing with the sadness and am in a assortment of small therapy. I have chosen to move forward, find something in each day that brings me happiness. I am thankful for the support I have from my friends who force themselves into my life and my mother and mo…

Health Conscious

Gluten free products are the new replacement for all wheat products in today's world. Diet and exercise don't cut it anymore-but you all know this right?

I find it odd, that back in the day, there were no health concerns with Mama's homemade bread's.
We don't eat rice now, we eat Quinta or 3 bean lentils. Potato's are out, strictly squash, yam's or mashed cauliflower. Soy Sauce is a sin!

I am talking about this today, in hopes I will receive amazing feedback, possibly easy recipes and outlook-

 Today, 85% of women are type 2 diabetes, I am one of them. My diabetes is extreme, therefore, I have been insulin dependant before, why do you think this is?

In the past diabetes was inherited, and I do have some family with diabetes, but the family that is affected, is not blood related.

What the heck is celiac deficiency? This was not around when we were stuffing our faces with our mothers home made breads. Gluten free-God why? $7.00 dollars for a fucking loaf …

Comment Reply from GVix from post: Fat Men

My response to the comments on my recent blog, Fat Men: The comments were awaiting my approval for publication and I have clearly sent them to the SPAM box. I am open to constructive criticism always. Constructive criticism may be in the comment form of a person saying, “Fix your spelling, and check your grammar”. Constructive Criticism may be a comment from a person that writes; “my opinion of this blog are a bit off the mark, because if you look at society today”; and then a fact to back the statement up. Please note readers, this blog is a personal journal of my own. The story’s I choose to write about may be about actual events and experiences I have had in my life, fiction or a combination of both. How you choose to process the story is completely your thought process, not mine, if you take the topics personally, you may have some baggage to work on. In my profile, it clearly states I have all the spelling errors of a grade 8er; however I received honors in English Literature and Cre…