Dec 9, 2012

So This Is Christmas...

And what have I done?


The last 10 years I have hated Christmas. My kids were grown, always poor..I also typically work the season in group homes, sew and bake for all the people I care for.

My boys just really lost interest in Christmas and never made it much special for me. The last two years my young son would cook a huge feast, then the evening would be drinking and poker, and we would open our pathetic gifts in the morning. It has just been the shits really.

This year I have a list. The list will have all the things I missed over Christmas for some time. I did most of my shopping in early November so I would not find myself short over the holidays.

Many events over Christmas are religious.  I have never belonged to a church over the last 10 years because one, they make me cry when I go in them and two, I love an assortment of religions.

I follow the ways of Buddha mostly, "We create our own paths in life"  I love all sorts of community. This week I went back to my favorite store Mother India. I will be traveling to India very soon. Whenever I go into this store I plan ahead because the man that owns the store gives me a lesson each time. So this week, I learned this little story and I love it!

I was buying bangles made of pure cooper-as I heard somewhere they give clarity to be grounded, and I was buying prayer beads, 108 beads of gratitude.

The story:

In the Hindu religion;  "We do not go to peoples doors and harass people, we do not pay to a church." said the man.
( this is the Krishna religion)
There are 5 gods:
Your Mother
Your Father
Your Teacher-Guru
The guest who comes to you and asks for help
The last is the person you choose to worship
Kristna oversees all gods to give meaning to your life.


The 108 beads, started with the god Kari wearing 8 heads around his neck, and his wife was disgusted and said, "stop wearing the heads!" Kari said, "All  this is you-the demons who have touched you and you have been seduced into other lands and materialistic ways, If I stop wearing the heads than you can never leave to another land, you can never change.  You must stay here and be pure and present, dedicate to here and now. "

The heads were all her "heads of change", by demons. The bangles were gifts to keep her balanced and grounded in the present. On the net, there are many different story's  I forgot to ask why one god is in the form of human and elephant. This will be my next lesson. Regardless of the ludicrousness of it all, the lesson is still very wise  So for a few people I bought Bangles. I also love Christianity  Gospel and other sorts of religion and have no issues joining in to all, to me its a history lesson and also makes me sad for missing the support system I felt I needed many times

When I was a child my mother studied Bahai Faith, I remember large dinners at peoples homes that rotated once a week and the studies we would sit in circles.

The Bahá'í Faith, religious history is seen to have unfolded through a series of divine messengers, each of whom established a religion that was suited to the needs of the time and the capacity of the people. These messengers have included Moses, Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, and others. For Baha'is, the most recent messengers are the Báb and Bahá'u'lláh. In Bahá'í belief, each consecutive messenger prophesied of messengers to follow, and Bahá'u'lláh's life and teachings fulfilled the end-time promises of previous scriptures. Humanity is understood to be in a process of collective evolution, and the need of the present time is for the gradual establishment of peace, justice and unity on a global scale.
I remember loving the story's and food and incredible story's from the elders.

As a young teen my mom got me enrolled in christian summer-camps put  through the Pentecostal Church in Terrace BC,  once I heard them talking in tongues I was horrified, I really thought that the whole church had devils in it.

However I did love the summer camps and later in my adult life very much supported the missionaries for teen girls that are abused abroad, this was a charity group that helped young girls at risk.   I went to my last camp at 15, and gave Wes Walt a blow job, I didn't even know what it was, I was completely grossed out and gagged a few times. WW said it was not like sex before marriage and if I really loved him....blah, blah blah...I thought he was my boyfriend and as soon as I returned home he then told me I was a sinner- I was done with the Pentecostal Church. For a short time, I decided voodoo was a much better choice and Wicken- Fuck that bastard, I'd curse him forever!! Wicken is actually a white Witch.

It was in my late 30's I started to visit the Catholic Church knowing this was way back in my roots-Irish Roots.  I loved the ambiance, especially in the university of Notradame in Boston. I had already started to collect the Rosary's  which are almost the same method as the 108 beads of gratitude,  however 108 beads of prayer.

In my 20s I married a man who was raised Jehovah.  My mother said she would dis own me from the family. I did study and became a devoted wife, however I could not get over the idea of no Christmas for my kids.

 We tried it one year and I was miserable  the boys were young and it was not my family custom. After I divorced, the old saying was true as a bell, I was pretty much a outcast. I never received phone calls, invites or letters from my X husbands parents- to me this was complete injustice to my kids. I clearly forgave and move on and my boys spend time with there grand parents in there late teen years. There is allot of hate talk over this religion  however when in it, the support group is very much the same.

The belief system I do not believe in- chosen people will go to heaven, with a number in fact.

Mormon- probably the best life skills for a young couple getting married, with the best lessons- but whacked as far as I am concerned with incest and corruption- however all the religions have some sort of corruption  its like any crowd of people, one nut in the house blows the whole congregation..lol

For the past year I have been studying Nithyanada, who is a Guru from India turned Monk. Nithyanada believes that every past thought is a thought we have already had, and if you are not leading the life of Bliss, than those thoughts clearly are not working. You must train your brain to think in new thoughts.

At Christmas, everyone needs a little religion.

The reason I say this is, in churches and communities, its old roots. You have the women who bake , make crafts..there are choirs and singing, dinners and gatherings..this truly is what Christmas is about-not what you get or receive.

I love giving gifts that is my favorite part!However I have grown tired of the malls the traffic the polluted
thoughts of materialism.

This Christmas, I will see the dam singing tree on Broadway street, I will have the sleigh ride, ice skate-
I will go to midnight mass, I will see the symphony and hopefully the nutcracker; I will do a day in the soup kitchen; I will donate to people less fortunate, and make crafty things and bake, I will have 3 of my best girls in Onesys PJ's watching Christmas movies and getting drunk, I will have a beautiful dinner at my mothers home, I will have a open house on Christmas day- why?

Because I fucking hate Christmas, and it is time I didn't.   I have a girl who will be staying with me who needs love and Christmas- So I am dam well gonna do it with glory. I sent over a 100 cards, I always forget.
I limited a small budget on the sisters, kids and mom-and its done dammit.

So this is Christmas...What have you done?

That's my Tale N I'm sticking to it
Signing off
GVix


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