Jan 1, 2013

My Personal Sitcom


If I were to write a sitcom similar to the movie, "Sex in the City", I guarantee my female friends and men would blow the audience away, people would be begging for more. The women in my story would probably keep viewers far more entertained than the three characters in sex in the city.

I am reflecting on some funny moments with my amazing friends coming into the New Year. This year I decided to work, and set some goals for myself. I hope you all rang in the New Year as you all wanted to, and that it was grand and special to you !

On facebook I have 580 friends, approximately. A good 100 are from the town I went to high school in, old and new-more like family.

On Facebook 50 more are people I met at conventions, events and social gatherings, another 50 I have not met, but are referral's who have read my blog or support whatever it is I am doing.

Another 150 friends are work related, past present and some future networking people.

50 friends are men who are listed as; "Wants to bone" X Boyfriend, "Satan X boyfriend" Dating Material, and "Nice guys".

Facebook is a social network system and you never know who will support you in business or otherwise. I try to not take Facebook too seriously. I have literally nothing to hide, as I am somewhat of a public figure now. I am not ashamed of anything I post..simply because it is freedom of speech. The finest colleagues in my field find me incredibly funny. Two psychologists have stated, I am not crazy, whew that's a total load off my shoulders. I might be crazy, and I like that thought. I give a new twist on real human behaviors and feelings. I seem to throw mine all over the place, and you as viewers-like it.

The last 180 friends, are indeed people I interact with in my life. I have clusters of friend groups. I'd have to say, I have 8 best friends, who will be in my life till I die. I have at least 8 new friends (true friends) whom I feel will be with me in the new millennium, and these 8 are as funny as my other friends, you can just tell
by the personality's that the new friends I have met do really value me as a person and want to be present in my life.

After the Christmas bullshit season, I decided to write something that will bring my humour back-I know, you love this about me. I have to say I had the highest readings in the last 3 months since 2007. 46,000 viewers.

A person said to me on Facebook, "Call up your friends!" I was extremely down. I said, " My friends are not really here for me." He said, "that is a lie, all your friends love you and think you are as amazing as I do.

The truth is when you are going through shit, you alienate  yourself, at least I do. I don't want to dwell on the shit in my life or bring it to anyone else. Yet in the pit of your stomach you are incredibly lonely and having your friends with you, isprobably the best medicine. I do have friends that are there for me. I have not started retraining my brain to think new thoughts yet, I have not had time. This will start as soon as the double shifts are over. I have been thinking lately what is the worse that can happen if I only have one job? Will I gain the security net I need to go to China? UGH, back to my fabulous friends..It's way more entertaining.

I have to tell you though, my new exciting life is launching at 3pm Jan 1st.

So I am just going to write about my friends in code. After a person goes through a shit year filled with death, loss, you come to find out who your real friendships are and who is truly there for you no matter what. I will have to break my friends down in clusters. There are 4 groups and some stand alone friends. I want to say, this does not include family. I have two very close girlfriends who were  part of extended family, that's in another chapter.

I did try to mix the groups of friends at functions, it never really worked. If I won the lotto, they would all be together with me on a vacation- now that would be funny, the rule would be they are not allowed into their clusters.

I know massive drama would occur, because all women/men are completely different. Or maybe not, maybe everyone would accept everyone for who they are and find that when they are 80, rather than being old and lonely, they will all be together on bingo slots in Vegas, saggy tanned skin in bikini's rocking it at 80 years old. Maybe we'd all go in on our own senior home in Arizona! Each friend of mine, no matter what their faults are hold compassion, generosity, truth,and kindness. All have a love for animals. All want to do the better good in life.

Anyway back to my friends list.

Hometown Wacky Wild: I will call them Cindy,Candy and Lauren.
These girls are my high school friends, however I only actually went to school with one. The one I did go to school with was Candy, we were in cheer leading together, and after I bragged about making the uniform skirts, to find I had botched several-I think they were taken to her house for repair..lol

The girls came into my life after I became a young mom. This was from my late 20's to early 30's and continue to be my friend's, there was about a 5-7 year gap where we were not in each other's lives due to marriage, weddings pregnancy..so forth. Even though years have separated us, we come together like sisters. Cindy is the one who has supported me the most, has flown me home when my dad was sick, has offered her home, is seriously like family. Candy one year I spend a major amount of time with her Mexican family and her home sitting adventures.

Lauren is the sister of Cindy and resides in Canada and the united states, we have just gotten to know each other more in the last 5 years. When I visit Lauren it feels like Ive known her my entire life.
These women are my security blanket and should anything happen with me or my family they would be my sisters to call for help.
Last year when my dad passed away two out of the three of us got together around the good old bomb fire,
It was like the hangover-like we reverted back into time. Cindy got the Kraft dinner going at 12am to kill the alcohol from taking effect. The discussion was mostly about who could light their fart on fire. Remembering the times of tree planting-as we all did it and we all were in the circle of men at that time too. We were all involved with tree planters. Dirty Hippies back then, but not really-I just like to say that because some have turned out the total opposite. My tree planter boyfriend was a owner and looked like Jesus. I spend three years with him. Cindy Married hers, he was the head honcho of the opposing company of my tree planters.
Candy, was lottery candy. lol. God love her. However candy has good taste in men, because she had a few years with my Jesus after I had moved away. We can now, look back at those years and bless they are over-oh but what fun. It was Cindy who said, at a local bar "What or Who do you want for your birthday?"
I said that Jesus stinky looking hippy dancing like a freak on the dance floor. Somehow, Cindy always gives me what I want, no pun intended. Last year I received red rain boats, up to the knee, I think I have wanted a pair of those since I was 5 years old.

Last time I was with Cindy and Lauren in Vancouver we all went for dinner, shopping and then had wine at Lauren's house watching Bridesmaids, laughing like crazy. Lauren said, " Now the real video! " The rule was we all had to climb in Lauren's comfy bed. The video started out as a black screen with whispering and then rustling of a tent..ended up being two sisters trying to light their farts on fire of the campground.

These women will always tell me how it is, give me shit when I need it and will demand changes in my life that typically siblings or parents would do. I know that if one was worried or upset they would come get me and force me to fix whatever it is that needed fixing. This is what everyone needs in their life. I know this because of a incident in my home town where Candy and Cindy came to my place and pretty much said how it was when I was making a poor choice. I will save that for the book.

At one point this year I toyed with the idea of moving  in with Cindy, to fix my financial issues and lend a hand in the home on the massive ranch, help with the kids and everything else in the massive house, like reno's. I really wanted to just go, but when I look at the job choice's in my field, it was utterly shit.

This is still a option after China, and we have the type of friendship as team players. If I were in her life, shit would just get done. That's the way we roll. Although Cindy is a wife, and mother- My friend has never had to ask for much help from the male dominant in her life-and neither have I. Honey can you cut the wood?
Not my Cindy, she just rips her shirt off, in a muscle top and gets the shit done. Kinda like myself.

Last winter however I attempted to pick up a ax and swing and I would have to say, it would take a bit for me to get used to cutting kinlen, let alone large logs. This is probably the secret behind her biceps.

One of my favorite moments with Cindy was she came to Vancouver for a government medical clearance for a government job. We met at metro town to do a little lunch and shopping. In Tommy Hilfiger's I was grabbing clothes for her to try on, she opened the curtain and said "Whoot Whoot!" There she was in a zebra print, very tiny pantie assemble. I almost peed my pants, I said"did you wear that for the medical exam???
"Sure did! " she said bent over in laughter, I said what the hell??No you did not!
She said I didn't have time to think about my undergarments and forgot. LOL

Cindy and Lauren are like Swedish beauties, I remember Lauren pulled out some black and whites and said , " here use these as ideas for your photo shoot at Wreak Beach. Holy Mother of GOD!!
Naked, naked naked..you see, Lauren appears shy, a tiny fine boned women, like a doll really. Where as me and Cindy have always liked the boyish look. I was like, wow is that your ass? Mine did not look like that in all the dozens of photos that were taken at wreak, no matter what pose I did that day, probably because she was like 22, however her ass still looks like that.:(


The Frazer Valley Girls came into my life after the main friend, Samantha, held numerous parties at her house with her partner at that time.

Samantha was dating a man, whom several of the women went to school with, amazing women.
After my horrible breakup in 2007, Samantha kind of picked up the pieces for me. We worked together and both wanted something different. Samantha introduced me to Betty, Diane, Consuela and later I met Erika and Joanne.
Betty was known as The Drunk. I would be drunk too, with all the shit that went down in this women's life. There was a short gap when I went to a live play with Betty. Betty was sober. We cried, laughed..she told me more about herself, we talked for hours.

I realized in that short amount of time, that Betty not only someone I wanted to be very close to always and forever, but also was super super intelligent, her knowledge of destinations, human nature and politics, sports...the list went on. Betty gives the best hugs, I respected her from there on in and decided that no matter what she would be my friend for life. Betty was the comedy of every party- I mean shit roar laughter. Vegas, ..well what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas right? Except for Herpies, we all know that shit will haunt your ass (Line from The hangover) Betty decided to try pao'tee, outside with a native Indian from Arizona- lord have mercy. I will leave the Vegas story at that, but holy best time ever!

The pre Ireland video I took of her and Joanne- I filmed it, hilarious- not so funny getting kicked off planes I heard later. Then there was the time, in winter at a shindig Betty decided to roll her ass on a flatbed trolley down the driveway of Samantha's while I had blown up condom's on my head. We all were convinced that Samantha's man was cheating, so we counted the condoms and realized some were indeed missing, we spent the night filming ourselves talking with the condom's on our head.

Betty has a pretty high roller career, which doesn't surprise me because like I said, she is super smart.
It is funny because -its a oxymoron. The best conversations about sex, defiantly come from Betty, this is probably why she is with a french Canadian. Tragedy did occur in Betty's life and I was right there with her,
when family died suddenly.  After the tragedy , Betty changed her life, got fit, lost over 100lbs, stopped drinking, died her hair blond, got engaged bought a sports car, went travelling..

The issue when you do life changing events, your not so funny anymore right? Oh God no, Betty was even funnier! We started the transformation with warrior dash in whistler- she beat my ass!

My dog got very sick, bill was going to be about 2k, Betty came and paid the bill, but first told the choice of vet how unsanitary they were and that there business rating was shit, and then went into the operating room and demanded to see "her dog" and then told the receptionist that the dog better fucking live or there will be hell to pay. I made sure I cleaned up that bill asap. At Christmas, I go to Betty's. Its family. I am so happen when I see her in her Tiger Onesee's !

Joanne is attached to Betty, Joanne is A stinky Hippy!.lol, only cause I know she will probably read this.
I saw Joanne recently, I said so hows things?
"Well, you know, I decided not to wear a fucking bra for the month" this was stated in her weird accept. Joanne has almost like a Nuffee accent. "So are you still with that guy?" I said
" No, I told him to get the fuck out of my house, he stinks it up-I don't have time for whine shit men"
Joanne is a realist, get's shit done, enjoys her muffin top, long leg hair and 1960's hairstyle.
and fuck the people who don't. The truth is Joanne is beautiful. Joanne and I came really together when huge tragedy hit Betty's life,
I think Joanne realized then I truly cared about this women and wanted to help. Joanne is Betty's best friend and I am the third wheel they invite on outings once in a while. its ok- I love them both.

Samantha in past was known among friends as the brunt of bad choices. The truth is Samantha is quite young. Me and Samantha had a major falling out and did not speak for about 2 years. However then Samantha's dad passed away, we all loved him dearly. Samantha brought us all together in the beginning, saved me from my horrible career and break up- I had to fix it. No matter what.
We all do stupid shit, if you grow and learn from it- then whatever, this is life. Samantha moved away for a bit, and came back and is currently launching her new exciting life, and we have never been so close.

Samantha is very funny, all my friends are funny..she will quite often say "Lemmie dooo it" from Mad TV. My favorite time with Samantha, is getting a friend lost in the walls of the Waldorf hotel. We were all dancing and all of a sudden Samantha starts swivelling her head in a circle, like a rocker, while doing the Elaine dance from Seinfeld- everyone was starring, it was hilarious. One time, she was soo hammered and slurred " I gotta pee..and she just went, outside the club..I yelled " SAM!, " her response was "oh, oh...no.. no.. its happening, yup I'm peeing..peeing in the street , here I go"As I pulled her up, she says.."Look, Look how long my stream is..it can go for miles"

Funny ass drunk I tell you, she wanted to go to the strippers, lol, and then said to the front row of male lookers, " are you playing under the table there? Oh good, and sits among them.."starring up at the strippers, "wow I wanna be one of those when I grow up? LOL, ohh, "LaLa, the stripper likes meeee."
As the stripper indeed was giving Samantha a little show.

Samantha has slowed down considerably since then, I think she stopped drinking on a regular basis shortly after her dad passed away.

There is always a break in friendships at some point, you know they are your true friend if shit is dealt with and you move on-This group can pretty much do that with most situations, for example Consuela was extremely pissed with Samantha, but instead of talking about it, Consuela called up Samantha in her extremely major accent and said " Look, me no impressed with you chu, I thik we may need some distant", I don't know how to type a Mexican accent, but I did try just then.
So they had a few months distant and moved on from it.

Diane, high roller of downtown, but actually just a country bum kin, who loves to do crafty things, has a massive huge heart and wears her heart on her sleeve. I recently had what I call a falling out with Diane. I usually make my way to her house at Christmas, but I felt this year to be very low key from all my friends.

Diane was a huge support when I was going threw a custody battle with my grandson, Diane was their for me when my dad died and took me on a trip to a winery. Diane and her partner to me are the ideal couple. You see them and you just love them so much. Diane questioned me on my trip to China, and brought up a very touchy subject on a friend I owed money too, who ended up being verbally abusive to me. This was a very long time ago.

Fuck ups we have in life, we all have them- this was one I had as well. I was mortified that she brought it up. A issue that had nothing to do with her and was none of her business. Instead of asking me questions, I felt like I was being talked about from one of my peers. It is true, I look up to this women with the highest respect and she is my main supporter of my writing. Like Consuela said "I think we need some distant" lol

Diane is butt ass funny. I have the best photographs of Diane, she is like pee your pants funny in conversation. It's funny because once in a while you see total animal in her and its great, the other time its like something is repressed. If there were anything in Diane's life that I could give her support with I would.
What is more funny is when she blurts out something brazen, and then blushes florescent red, she can turn red in the face on command. I think if she wanted to she could fart to the theme of jaws as well, but she is too much a lady for such things! Big Hats and frilly skirts is Diane.
I have had the best times with Diana, who introduced me to a cute bumpkin named Erika.

Erika has a squeaky voice, the kind that makes you giggle. Erika is super lovey and cute and kind of a girly girl, I don't know her very well but at the winery she really talked to me about the loss of my dad. it is funny with this group of women, I say I don't know Erika very well, but the truth is when we spent the summer at the winery- it was like I had known her my entire life. I didn't want her to go. Erika was moving far away after we got back and I was just getting to know her.

Lastly Consuela: I met this girl also through Samantha. I met her at a party getting into a fist fight with Diane, Consuela thought that Diana was after her husband. I think out of all the Frazer Valley girls,
Consuela and her family, I have spent the most time with, they as a family are very involved in my life in decision making and well being.
Consuela's husband moved me from Surrey to Vancouver. I helped them move from Burnaby to Surrey.
Family dinners were huge with Consuela and her family and when I lived in Surrey it was always my place or her place. We did a huge family garden for the kids in my yard. I have met Consuela's family from afar twice. I now know I am welcome to stay in Mexico should I need to immediately leave the country.

In a custody battle in past years when I didn't know what to do, Consuela said, "No NoNo..In Mehico, you take the motherfucking baby and you go" You leave the baby teenagers to be teenagers and you take the baby and you just go. "We no fuck around" Ci, you are the grandmoma here, you no mess with dat shit"
If they come back and do not have five goats and grass hut, you shoot the hand.
Simple, Done..then she gives me her huge pearly white smile.

Consuela has a Indian husband, who is just as much a friend as Consuela. you get a Mexican and Indian trying to cook a feast in the kitchen you have mayhem, but amazing freaking food!
This is the love I have for my family. The little daughter I call Bean, a little string bean with long Spanish hair, and tall..not sure where she gets the height from and the skin of her dad. I have not seen them in awhile, I kick myself in the ass for this. I got two pages of verbal diarrhea about the china trip, mostly in Mexican, and when that was not enough I got a phone call completely in Mexican,  You see sometimes, Consuela forgets to speak English, quite often this happens when she is drunk as well. it went something like this:

"mierda puta, no me llames me dices así? Oh, perra mejor que venga aquí muy pronto una patada en el culo puta madre! Usted me envía en un mensaje de texto? Voy a matarte!
Voy a bajar allí una patada culo te Skinney poco aquí conmigo?


In English this basically means:
"you fucking bitch, you no call me you tell me like this? Oh you bitch you better come over here real soon I kick your mother fucking ass! You send me this in a text message? I'm going to kill you!
I am going to come down there an kick you skinny little ass you hear me?


Now that my friends, is real love there. This women is amazing, even when she slaps her husband upside the head. She is also a hot little chili pepper. Shit I have to go see her soon.

The 4 brothers- I left my career about 1.5 years ago. In the field I work in , you develop relationships and it is like a family. The four brothers were my team of men who managed a residential home as well as me. I have brought them up before. This is more than a friendship. I don't see these men outside of work on a regular basis , I wish I did. Looking back now I think with what they had to put up with as me as there boss. In reality I learned my skill from all of them.  I will call them, Johnathan, Donelle, Giuseppe and Gusto.

They met my boyfriends, told me who I should and should not date, one put me through school, one paid for a massive car bill and drove me nightly to and from work, one lent me his truck for a month so I could move my shit.They check in and ask me about my life and still give me pep talks on how things should be. The best dating advice came from them, and now I know what to look for, who is a loser and who is not.

"Johnathan" name from the bible I picked, because he is somewhat religious, and was the protector of David when he was going to be killed. I was the one, burnt out, over extended and about to be killed at my career,  Johnathan would protect me, always. Johnathan would come in with his sense of humour-always gave me the best pep talks ever! figures he used to be a 911 representative.

The best advice I got a long time ago was this. " A man who wants to date, but nothing serious" Is a man who wants to fuck , pillage your body and move on to something better" A man who wants and desires , but knows he cannot sleep with you, because he values you , is the man who will marry you. " A man who promises to get married with a promise ring, will never promise to anything secure" " A man who plays house, but does not provide the house, is a child"

If I were in serious trouble, none of these men would ask me why- they would simply say "where are you?" I am coming. It is long over due that I have a special dinner and evening with my 4 brothers. I will do so this year.

The Work Friends

There are 4 fairly new work friends, I think I started hanging out with these friends in the last year- and they have made a huge difference in my life. These are friends I have taken from my last career and placed into my life. I have Lucy, Dickie, Healer, Gofish and Tina.

Lucy was in another program as a manager, and we met up for coffee and talked about resigning. We both had been through the ringer and wanted something more stable. So we chose the School Board and seemed to be placed in many programs together- we work well together. She started to help house sit my pets , while I was away, which has now turned into her being a household member. Lucy's best friend is Dickie, who I met also in my old program. Me and Lucy joke about being LL Girls (Lesbian Lovers) because we have the worst luck in men, and will sometimes blow up pics of men on POF and make comments.."Shit is that nose hair?" or a booger?

"I will stick to EHarmony" Lucy says, I was like, so the last guy..did you do stuff? "Yeah we did stuff" "like what stuff" I don't know, stuff!! I don't think you did anything, I said.  Lucy's face turns the color of a beet. The funny thing about Lucy is, she was raised by the church. So you never know if she is sweet and innocent or if its just BS. Then I saw her drunk, flirting with boys.."How you doing?" she says to the bartender..The women has no issue with men and most times I don't even think she knows when she's getting hit on.

Sometimes we work out together or say we do, and sit in the hot tub. Lucy is super cute, like Betty Paige cute.She has put on a little weight this year, which has shocked some, I never noticed quite frankly. The truth is, shes super cute and still wears her bikini to the pool- everything is evened out, and even thou shes slightly insecure about it, she still is super cute, and clearly has no problem flirting with men like at my birthday.
Currently I call her the cat lady, but I am just trying to break her out of her shell.

Dickie is a man, a gay man, young man who is cute and hilarious. He will call, and say"Bitch I'm coming over to sew, got any booze?" On one occasion, we are seriously talking, in the sewing room about what tools he needs to do his quilt and he says, "quilt this" and opens his legs to reveal a massive hole with a nut hanging out, then stands up and says, "this is better" and lets out a ginormous fart in a 4x4 room. The man is 6'4 and is blocking me, I am laughing so hard I want to die.The best part he is now laughing his embarrassing laugh cause its so funny, but then says he's not embarrassed at all. So the entire time, I think he plans this shit!
From his trash mouth and wit he is the most loving cuddly man on the universe. I am certain, this is the perfect man in male form.

We recently went to the Broadway Church for a Christmas function, this was to see if the event was appropriate to take persons we serve in our field, the only thing not appropriate was us. I don't know how many times i said "Oh my God" its freaking cold in this line, In the line of religious people. Dickie kept saying "Geez Laura you have a trash mouth, we are in the house of Christ!"
The church was filled with allot of Philippine people, As we were singing carols, Dickie was singling quietly "I'm SOooo Gay, and I don't even know it and I'm here in my gay cloths" He was referring to the two Asian boys sitting in front. Besides all that, when it comes to his career he is very professional and educated and this is what I admire about him, is he can just be himself after work. The interesting thing about Dickie is, he is very young, however has moved up the latter at one of my old unions. If I discussed a issue in the past, he would give me a different perspective, which in return would help me. Dickie can be so immature and a kid, yet when it comes to a serious discussion or work related he is very wise.

I am glad I have him in my life. He does point out randomly how he thinks vagina is gross, " did I mention today how I find vagina gross?" I will say, oh shut up, "no really, its a crevasse" Dickie just stop, but he really doesn't. Then he will pat my back and say it's ok, I still love you, even thou you have a vagina.

GoFish is also from my old profession and was the first male to ask me out in my field. Unfortunately after he peed on my wall and brought me a hand dildo as a door prize, I just didn't think it would work out.
Super funny man, however Gofish is very much like the name I have given him, he is a prize of a man, until he sabotages it and women say "GoFish"
 He had some real personal growth to do for himself and we decided that our paths would not be a romantic one.I am so proud of my friend thou, he has come a long way and continues to move forward. Gofish is like family and is a huge part of my life. He helps me every day to stay positive.

Healer: This is the wise women who keeps all together, opens her home and lets us vent about our shit. Now a family member.

Tina I actually have know for about 7 years, in a old profession. Tina is my release when I have work stress, because she has no filter and will just make me pee my pants over stuff that I find stressful. Tina lived with me for a bit to help with the transition into her own place.
Tina was a good companion after my dad died and is a major friend in my life who I don't see often enough.
Tina has no filter after a few beers, she has her own dictionary for every dysfunction of the human race.
I remember her telling me a story about giving a blow job and testing the waters on a rim job, till a little turd fell in her mouth- Me and Gofish were laughing so hard, we couldn't even get up, she just carried on with her story.

The best part is when she brings on her thick Australian accent, and is soo crude, it is gag wrenching funny.
Tina will quite often lock herself away from the world, which really is a shame, because she should really be on a stage doing standup comedy or an actress. If my friends were around to even hear one of the story’s they would go home with sore cheeks. As me and Gofish were peeing our pants practically, she is like “what? What, Pea sized turd? just a small nugget, like a speck I tell you" very small. On and on. Meanwhile I and GoFish can’t even have a conversation because with are laughing so hard. But in reality-it’s super gross.

The Downtown Core- I met Starlet at a swanky New Year’s Eve party last year. Starlet was sitting with four gorgeous women. So I complemented them, and the bubbliest one, invited me to join them.  I knew no one, except the host at the party. I went out on the patio to look at the view and there was quite a handsome man out on the patio who was flirting it up with me. I came back in and Starlet laughed, and said, "do you believe that was my boyfriend last year?" And he had the nerve to show up at this party and none of these people are his friends. I thought that was tacky as well. I mean they had been split for some time, and he was macking on all the females in the room in front of her. We exchanged numbers

Starlet and I became fast friends through text Facebook and email, and finally met for coffee. Starlet knew about some of my challenges and wanted to support me. She threw her life into to mine on my 43rd birthday. I did also on her birthday. Starlet’s friends made an appearance at my party and I at hers and I loved them all instantly. I had several cancellations at my party and was left with a hefty bill, Starlet and her friends paid triple to cover the bill. I received beautiful gifts- I was shocked and felt truly blessed.

This group is completely different from all the other groups. These women are corporate so to speak.
None of these women smoke or drink, all own homes and have huge professions. Remember the old saying
"Surround yourself with people you want to be" I can’t say I want to be these friends of mine, as I am pretty happy with who I am- However there are things in each of them I want to aspire to too. I want to own a home and do my own renovations like Judy. I want the ultimate fit life like Starlet and the sweet man she acquired recently. I want an honest, real marriage one day like Gwen; I want the values and morals and adventure side of Gwen I seemed to have lost in the last few years.

I have connected with Judy and Gwen outside of Starlet, and feel I can develop these relationships in the New Year. I have met a handful of other friends from Starlet, and they all are amazing.

The Standalones-

Well I have a handful of these that come and go, but two very prominent friends are Neen and Dora. Neen was a 20 something boarder in my home over 15 years ago, I watched her grow up to quite the beauty. Neen was a high paid nanny in the British Proprieties for over ten years and has recently ventured out into small businesses. Neen is now full women and, let me just say this- she has had some work done and truly looks like a movie star.
Some of my friends are intimidated by her- I have brought her to several different events- for example my hometown girls, love her-find her a riot and crude and funny. Neen can be an exhibitionist- I think if she could be a nudist she would be. She is probably the most open female friend I have in regards to sex. Neen's dialect quite often resembles Samantha from sex in the city "Oh he had the most awful tasting spunk"

However Neen has the brain capacity of a corporate diva-this is why she will do extremely well in her businesses. The most interesting thing about Neen is she is quite domestic, which you would never guess. Neen would rather cook me her famous casserole dish and watch movies while smoking a cigar in her bra n panties then go out. Neen is the movie star that has not been found. How she became a boarder in my home, is I had a male boarder who was about to be kicked out. Neen came upstairs in my robe.
I said," Nice fucking robe who are you?" To make a long story short, the guy was kicked out and Neen moved in for a short time. The one thing I do know about Neen is she spoils me. She will get me out of a rut, with no argument. "Why are you home?" "cause Im old!", "Fuck you your old, you just need a hard cock up the ass, you worked liked two weeks straight, it's not healthy, I’ll be there in 20minutes, we are going out" I will be thinking great, now I have to get dressed up put makeup on, and I'm so comfy in my sweats.
She will swing through the door, tell me I need to look pretty, whip threw my closes, and we will end up alone, downtown at a sushi bar, with her randomly flashing her boob at me to make me smile.

The last time Neen bombarded into my movie n coco night on Halloween, she said, "Oh fuck this is lame,"
"While I'm here you might as well take some V shots of me for my new boyfriend, he’s in Texas. Haven’t seen him for weeks, going crazy." For 20 mins in my room with guests in the house, I took full nude frontal body shoots, standing overhead Neen on my bed. After all was said n done, she swished back her drink, tossed her hair and said see you all lamers.  Dickie said “wow what was that?"
Gwen sat quietly in her seat like she'd been hit with a live porno star, and Lucy just giggled. Neen is in a previous blog called just a simple night with JR.

Dora-My funny big sister. I met Dora through an X boyfriend; I call her Dora the explorer because she is probably the strongest women I know. 50+ something. Sailor, Dragon Boater Adventurer and Mother.
This women started over 3 times, maybe 4. Has seen it all. Dora was my rock after my last breakup in 2010. We did everything together. Bike riding, dragon boating, going out, walks...then she met a man and left me. Just kidding she never left me, she has always been here I just don't see her enough. Dora is very blond at times, but it’s a falsehood. I think Dora tends to hide behind her intelligence at times- and other times it just comes out. Her profession tells us how intelligent she is... however at times she is soo silly!
Dora is in a previous blog called "Conversations with text messages” for example, an earlier blog of mine.
Have you ever seen that UTube video of the women who says what? Where’s my phone? I lost my phone?
I love her and miss her very much:(

Friends Not Present- These friends that support me but are not really present. The simple fact is, life is busy, so this group weaves in and out of my life when time is fitting. Huge supporters of everything I do, but I can’t say they would rush to my aid.

These are the friends that say there your friend, but do not go to any extent to place them into your life. If you want to see them you have to make the effort. Over time, these friends become more like acquaintances. Until something happens and you support them, or Vs verse.

I often wonder what it would be like to have all these friends in one place for 3 days. Every one of my friends have some issue or handicap in their life-like myself, this is why they are great. One friend may think one is a slut, another a drunk, one may be a cheater, another a potty mouth, one may view themselves a saint-therefore others will think she has a pole up her ass. One might take offence to another words and so forth. The best sides of all my friends have taken me years to get to know, and the worst sides. And quite honesty life is short, too fucking short. I truly believe that all my friends will like some part of the rest of my friends, and so forth within the large circle. I say this because each one has a huge heart.



Happy New Year!
I miss you all and love you
Let's Make this year one we will remember
2013 Bring it Bitches!
GVix