Jun 8, 2014

On Foot..Will Travel

Well it's been sometime since I've written here-
I have been busy working on a book, revamping and editing. I have also been busy working some other projects. One being, my Life.

It has taken some serious time to understand what I am supposed to do, what I am good at, my strengths. All this progress in understanding, has continued to happen through loss and removal.

It was a short time ago, I thought, I had yet again been challenged with life's hurtles, my ceiling caved in I had to move, my pet was ill, the bills were high..then this all settled for a bit.

A new wave came in April, Job action strike, this time both pets being sick, less and less work, till this all came to a head where I have no vehicle. The extra time on hands, had given me time to care for the pets, networking to find help in a assortment of areas, my company, my talents in art and publishing, possible school, new love, new friendships-fitness levels increased. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything, and quite frankly taking the bus is hell and has left me with a incredible early start of the day and a tiring one at the end.

Last week was a test of my skill, and I think I did pretty good. I have also been challenged with defining who I am, yet again. I remember some time ago, some relatives and a few in my friend circle criticized my blog and writing- Stating that my writing was crap, correcting spelling errors and judging on what I decide to tell the world. I have a continual stream of 150K readers, and although my advertisements don't leave me the income of riches, I do believe that numbers speak louder than slander.

It was in 2010 when I was studying with Vancouver Fraser Health, that I met a British Psychologist who I highly respected. He was taken aback by my enthusiasm in class. The doctor felt I had a real gift with persons that had challenges in life. As time went on and me and the doctor got to know each other, he felt I had the gift of a true writer with a different language to offer.

In my second year of English Literature, I remember re-writing a piece on Farley Mowett about 5 times, and each time the piece came back with corrections all over the essay. I said, "What am I doing wrong?"
The teacher said I think you have you may have a slight disability, I see you trying over and over and I am totally engaged in your piece of work, but you are missing the other elements to the work that has to be done here. I want to give you a A+ in creative writing.

It was then, that I accepted this criticism and have just moved forth with it. I also have realized that I have the gift to lift people up from hardship, and give solutions. This is why I am so strong, and give gratitude for what I do have. This week it was my turn to ask for solutions.

I could say I have made many mistake and if only I could turn back time and do things differently- but that would not help me create the future that is meant for me- everyone is unique and different in their own way-

My recent challenges have left me to deal with some very big exciting decisions-I was given this opportunity probably about 5 times in my life and did not see them as clearly as now. Some people never see them.
I know a handful of my friends who will just continue on a path of conformity, or total hypocrisy.

            Conformity: "Behavior in accordance with socially accepted conventions or standards."

This is just fine if this is who you are, however for me and a few of my friends, we may follow the rules and laws of conformity on a professional level, however the creative persona is also just as strong, and this leaves the person to be of a higher standard. There are only a select few of my friends who hold this talent quite effectively. 

Sometimes it is hard to take the realism of the world, and then sometimes you embrace it and the reality of what is important helps you decide, what is not.


I have always accepted my friendships and have viewed many of my friends list as people with different personalities, but their comes a time when things do not serve you well anymore.

For example, a continual stream of news-feeds that show brand name likes on Facebook, or the ever world of fakism in looks, appraisal and crap. I love fashion, it was my hopes to have my own line at one point and I was all about the fashion- more so local artists." I am sorry, but what contribution is Tiffany's or Mark Korrs making to the world?"

I recently had a comment from someone I care about very much, probably because I know who the real person is inside than most, at the time took it with a grain of salt- however lately I have been challenged by this person on who I am, what I post, and it has gotten under my skin a little. I am constantly being cut down on how I dress, or the way I wear my hair or no makeup- I do have insecurities however I also embrace who I am. 

These comments happen every time I meet up with my friend. Sometimes they are funny, this last time, I really took things to heart. We all control our own behaviors, I know this-but I just don't find it amusing or enjoyable anymore.

Sorry if my "lesbian shoes embarrass you in public, but they get me to where I need to go- stay grip on a sailboat or on a well beaten path and last 10 yrs longer than you knock off Gucci apparel, that quite frankly fucking kill my feet.  Then there is the word use also, what a disrespectful non supportive of gay rights slang of a word. I brushed it off, I love this person with all my heart and know that it was meant as a funny-
however I really don't find this funny anymore. Things like this have made me take a double look at who I want to surround my life with.

The positive note on my friend as she defines my worth and value I deserve in a partner of choice at the same time- I do value this.


Other News feeds: The continual posts of self healing- self help crap, when clearly you are doing nothing to contribute to the real cause of the world issues, or even know what is going on in the world in general. The people who post self help poster-boards, then show themselves partying or engaging in massive shopping sprees-They wonder why they need the self help logos, because they feel like shit afterword and by posting its some sort of gratification.

Am I judging right now? Maybe I am, I am just so sick of it. This is the reason I have closed my Facebook on several occasion, that and the continual game requests. The only service I can say Facebook does for me is keep me in the loop with family and friends, and network connections.

A friend reminded me of this saying below, because maybe this week I wasn't being so kind, maybe this week I was disgruntled a little...
And I said, As a joke.

Now I take them back, because I really do see the good in everyone.   For me however, if I was kind and happy all the time, that would be fake-I don't' want to kill anyone, just inner awareness and peace-However I also want to feel what I am feeling and speak about how I am feeling because I think to feel helps you deal.

I don't sit here and wallow in my shit, I move forward and this is why my program works-Its called taking accountability and the reality is, if I didn't experience things myself how would I teach it.

So back to the beginning, I lost a 800 dollar monthly bill that I have repeatably paid for 4 years. I am on edge that it takes me a hour to get to where I need to go by bus, when in a vehicle it takes me 10mins. So how do we fix this? We find a beater. We ask the universe for help, we call up friends and meet with them and get them to call people and so on and so on, We research leads..We do the same when the economy falls for job loss and lodgings-

Everyone is dealing with stresses in Vancouver it seems, and this week this was mine.
Last week was my first week on foot and I will be reporting shortly on my adventures. I have a new professional blog, with Word Press that is more geared around Travel Writing- This starts Locally. I am onto my second post, however due to being graded on it, its not ready. I will paste the link when done.

That about raps up my thoughts on this week.
GVix Signing off