Oct 7, 2012

GVixen...Still Single, Living in Vancouver

GVixen, Still Single Living in Vancouver...

So what happens when,  just a girl in Vancouver falls in Love? Is this possible?
Vancouver, bright lights , big city ..and about as lonely as Seattle.
However Love does happen, and when it does its big.

The girl, me..will simply write about a new kind of love in Vancouver. The one that has open communication and humour..the love that should really be-for all couples.

For good reading purposes you can always check out "The Milf Project" A amazing women who writes about parenting, marriages and anything else she fancies- Its funny and hilarious, and she is one of my dearest friends. Although I have not seen her in over 10 years-I hope to soon.

There was a comedy TV series, I cannot remember the name for the life of me, I will call it "The fighting among the married" it was a couple, In bed. It was about their sex life mostly.

The best part on one episode, was when the couple is in bed reading. The husband continually farts.
The wife says" I'd like some sex please" The husband says, "How'd you like it?"
She ask's, "hmmm, I'd fancy some role play?"
and the husband says" good god women, your dalf, too tired"
Its funny cause its real!

The best way to have a amazing relationship is with clear precise expectations and communication.
Surprises are good too. I think I have had only one experience where I was completely surprised in a sexual experience. Its rather sad, now come to think about it.

More recently( within the last two year's) I was with a partner who stated after a randy romp in the hay. "Sleep Now"
I said, hmm...really..as I grabbed him down under- I was ready for round two!
He says "I'm sick you gave me a cold" whine whine"
I said, seductively.."Come on"
All of a sudden out of no where, his hand span was across my face-
and he said"holding face now" night.
I almost peed my pants it was so funny, and I still laugh about it and it is the only thing that makes me miss him.

Women including myself associate sex most times, with emotions-I do. I think women do this because they want the real deal. How nice would it be to come home to dinner, with candles and be ravished up against a wall, kissed fully like you were desperately missed all day?

This never happens, except in the movies.
I made a painting..

Love affairs should last forever..
They should, every fucking experience after 40 should be amazing as far as I am concerned.
Creative Innovative..romantic...
I know a couple who did ecstasy for a year to get their love life in check-not my choice, 25 yrs later they are still very much in love.

A sex specialist on a talk show, recently said 85% of men these days are addicted to porn, and that their idea of foreplay is- dinner, make out, then bed. After the experience is all said and done, the women never lives up to the porn star. Then the man is left searching again for the image of the sex act.

The men of today have no idea what foreplay is. Today you get a series of texts nudes- or request for some. You cant even imagine how the dessert menu will taste because its served up without asking.

What happened to fantasying, and enjoying someone and intrigue and all those things that make it fun?
well too much selection is definitely a problem, being a idealist is another. Wanting only a image rather than a person.

What if you could not touch someone? utterly, and their presence made you extremely horny?
You knew they liked you, and made time to spend with you-but there was a invisible barrier-and no physical contact was allowed for say 20-50 dates. If you were bored, we then that would be your answer-you would till have you dignity in tack- and the guy would not be able to base you on sex. He would have to find out who you were as a person- and sometimes, they may realize-they don't really like you at all.

The idea of you acting out his fantasy as a porn star in the bedroom would be killed. Well for the time being anyway. I love the idea. So I am going to try it and see what happens.

Apparently my waiting till the 3rd or 5th date is brazen! Even with a medical clearance. This is what my mother says anyway. I do not have one female friend who has waited even that long- If you are one of my female friends, speak up! let it be known.

So the guy sleeps with the female the 3rd date in, its great. Its two weeks of hard fucking and dining out so forth.  Then it goes to 3 times a week. Maybe two. Then she does the change thing...wear this, do this.
Then she tells you you need 20 percent of your income to buy the ring, moving in is like 6 months away and she wants to start viewing. Next thing you know- you are completely alone.

Fortunately, this is not me. The last guy I dated was beyond eccentric, strange even-I certainly did not want to change him, I did want him to get help for some of his issues and baggage. I loved that he was different.

I don't expect what I cant give in return. So the whole income thing, which I am hearing about more and more-is utter bullshit if you ask me. Who raised these young women in Vancouver??? Id really like to know.

So I decided to go back on POF, to entice my fancy-last time I was on it I met one guy 3 months in.
I have two messages from one man, they are a fucking novel. I put in my profile 50 characters , not 2000.
That was just to weed out the, "Hey, how you doing?"

He looks like much fun in his pictures. I wasn't to say, 5'6 will never turn me on in this century, I am sure you are a nice fellow-but that's not going to cut it. But I cant be mean. If I put pre-requisites on their, I'm superficial they say.

The best thing about POF, is seeing your X viewed you..lol...And you don't RESPOND.

It is funny for sure. I know a friend that paid a match maker-1500 dollars, ya..1500 DOLLARS!
unless its that lady from LA-not buying it.

Well that's all GVix has tonight
Happy Thanksgiving

The White Dress

The White Dress

I did not get married in a wedding dress, a suit rather, and a simple wedding band. I got married at the local libery, with a band shell. We had a photographer. I was excited to see the pictures.  The pictures were developed and there was graffitie of large spray painted penis in all the shots.
I was proposed to in a carpet store. I think I was 20 yrs old. My husband was much older than me, and he had met my baby out of wedlock. After the visit, he said, "Well there it is then, we have to get married and take care of that little guy.
During the wedding I had that nervous laugh, when you know you are doing something completely wrong.  After the divorce, I vowed I would never put a wedding dress on, it may give me a rash..I felt I had been cursed forever.
I could go on to talk about how the marriage failed very quickly or I could move on to the topic I am going to write about. 
Several years later, I suited and synched many a bride into  magnificent gowns.  I managed the Bridal Store in New West.  My boss would always ask me to try one on for her, that I would make a beautiful bride. I said…I have work to do.
Each night as I closed the store I would sometimes touch the fabric of the dresses. I really wanted to create one of my own.  A few times when a party would come in and I was in the change room giving my pep talk on how this was the perfect dress. I would find myself later fer-clemplted.
Love stories come in all shapes and forms. A dear friend of mine had to find love again at the age of 50 something. She dated online, and had her run in’s. One man she didn’t give much thought about came into one of many hospitals looking for her with flowers.
Love takes risks.
Now a year later, she has left down town and is living happily in a nice home, and they spend romantic weekends at a cabin. My friend seems happy with her mate, both renovating a creating something new for each other, building a purpose.
I was recently talking with a friend who was mentioning how they knew many relationships that went on for years living apart. I said, " I give it one year". They said, "you just want to meet, cut the bullshit and move right in don’t you?"
Not Quite. I feel that after 40, you are grown-ups now. All experiences should be grand. There is no time to waste-I say this on many levels.

In my 40’s I have yet to own a home and see the world-Do I want to do this alone? No.
I am just starting to set up the nest egg for my children now. Any relationship I try now is a risk.
Will they have the same interests?-this is why, I have settled on 20 first dates. It’s my new thing.

I do want to get married, not a huge wedding-but I want the white dress, the vows and the diamond-I have never owned a diamond, not even sure if a diamond is really a stone for me-but you get my drift.
It does not matter what age you are. In today’s world, it is important not for the wedding dress and ring-It is important on the vows that make a women feel secure and safe.
Even thou I enjoy my alone time very much, I do feel I have abandonment issues and mis trust-
I could say this is because of what I have gone through, but we create our own paths and sometimes have no control over things we cannot control. Sometimes our judgment is faded, blinded by inner blocks from other things- what we feel we attract.

Or you can just admit you have bad taste in men and you have settled for assholes.

This is why it is important to clear these blocks, so you can see more clearly.

I don’t want to ever feel these again, or have an absent partner or an emotionally absent partner either.

I don’t want to feel like I have to question anything, that answers will just be. This seems impossible to me on many levels-but I know it is possible.

I saw two wedding photo shoots this past weekend, one was under the old railway on Columbia street in New West. The women had tattoos down her arms, A full white gown, and her partner was in a retro suit, with tails and a top hat. They were laughing; he fixed her curled piece of hair, and placed it behind her ear.

The other wedding was in front of the foggy dew in coquitlum, a rather tall Indian women with a short balding groomsmen- when the camera man said smile, the groom had a rather fake smile-and the bride looked tense. A while later when the people gathered round, then the groom did have his arm around her-
But there was not a once, a feeling of what I hope to have when I find my life partner. I watched for at least 15 minutes, nothing..no emotion.

If I were to get married, it would be:

Just you and me, and me and you, "Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever ours.."

I am in love with the idea of love..and I truly feel that it should be a love affair that lasts forever-
This means it takes work, and you should never stop trying to keep the magic alive, even after the comfortable settles in. 

The white dress to me, symbolizes purity to the person you are giving yourself to.  This can mean
to also go into a marriage with the purest of thoughts of intent- this doesn’t mean virginity.

I don’t know why I thought about marriage, it has been a very long time since it even crossed my mind.

I think because I am lonely and am fantasying about finding the right partner- people around me are finding love-I could not be more over joyed, and it makes me work harder on my career goals - there is not enough time in the day in my mind to secure a future, which in today’s world-is a lot of WORK!

I have thought about who would come to my wedding, I would like my eldest son to give me away-
If I dont get married it is not the end of the world.

I will just travel the world and be a female monk-

The White  Dress has been haunting me like never before, I drive by Main Bridal shop and I have to say I am temped to go in, to satify my desire to finally try one on. Best go with Girlfriends I think.
The cutest thing I ever saw was a friend of mine having a party with her girlfriends, and they all were married and had to attend in their wedding gown! What fun, I highly recommend this for any group of women.
GVix wants your take on the White Dress!