Having worked 7 days straight, over tired and dealing with a Psycho friend and a client, one of my clients was very ill, all weekend, needless to say I was not in the most positive of moods, the last thing I wanted was to learn a new caseload and start over, today.
I had friend dates, a guy date, supposed to see my mother, and family in from my hometown for prom shopping and surgeries...I had to cancel everything. At this point in my life, everything is on hold..I have to get some things in order in my life. I got the guilt trip from almost everyone, and continual abusive text messages from a friendship I ended. After each workday, I would say to myself...it's over..
Let's go for a walk Sushi (my fat pug) then I would shut off my cell, to wake up to another 20 messages.
I made it to one birthday, and stayed for a hour, this was very hard, and when I said I would not be going downtown...somewhere in the mass of guests..there was a quiet understanding.
So my new day was today...Monday.
I woke up crabby, I felt hungover, but I did not drink..A sure shit sign of burn out.
After a hour of figuring out where I had to be in the new massively large secondary school. I met the teacher of the program I would be working with. The teacher told me a million things at once, clearly this teacher had the worst case of ADHD,Jumping from topic to topic, not staying on track and trying to fit everything in that I need to know in a entire year.
I am sure this teacher probably was in fear yet another SSA would be coming threw the door. I sat confused. The students came in, I clearly saw who I would bond with immediately, the most difficult teen in the class.
As the student sat down the teacher abruptly told the teen to remove his hat, he flipped it backwards. The teacher, told him he could go home for the day. I sat there muttering in my head, fashion statement, teen equality..fuming at this clearly OLD SCHOOL Teacher.,..mutter mutter "Cris Cross Applesauce"
After the teens started there projects, she wanted to go over with me, my caseload. I said,
"I just want to say..
" I am not removing my cap" and I am sure the Muslim girl in the class is not going to remove her wrap either.
I will not be here till 330, my day will be 8-3, this was arranged with the board. I work one to one with each child and I will need a private space to do so. I am also here for the year, so we can focus on one day at a time.
I am sure she thought I was a total bitch, and my cell kept buzzing away on the table, non stop.
To my surprise in a warm voice, the teacher said, "OMG was that harsh or what?"
"I don't know where that came from, the teen has been giving me such a hard time, I just need to set boundary's, he walks all over me!"
"I heard about your hours, and I also heard about you from head office and I am so excited you are with us!!
"Hopefully you can get some order in here and some stability."
"Typically we don't have a separate office, but we are setting a place up for you."
The day in itself went wonderful, I had a very grand meeting from the principle which I thought odd, it was almost over the top.
The best part of my day was knowing that I could start from scratch and re-invent a program for each student, the worst part of my day, was knowing that this position that enlightens me, is not enough to substance living requirements in Vancouver, therefore..I had many other demands today from other unions..I was tired.
At almost the end of the day...I did not apologize (because I believed in what I said) However I did say,
"Your program is great here, I think we will be a amazing team, I am quite tired today- please excuse me if I am a little overwhelmed on my first day, If you'd like I can come at 730am with tea and we can go over the student caseloads together. "
The teacher said, "I'd like that very much Ms Gold, welcome aboard"
Never wake up with a negative attitude... because something really amazing...you could miss.
When I got home today, my fat Sushi was ever so faithful..ever so excited to see me..
and we went to the Park...