Aug 12, 2014

The Jennie Is Free





R.I.P
Robin Williams

You were and are loved my many threw your laughter, kindness in community and spirit.
My heart goes out to your family and closest friends.
Laura Gold

The title of my blog was a very heartwarming tweet today, on the news of the death of Robin Williams. 

I grew up with Robin in my home all my life and always wanted to meet him.

It was a cold winter in Vancouver,  I think around 2006, the stores downtown were open very late, maybe 24 hrs.

I was working as a manager for Biotherm in cosmetics and also relief for the floor manager, we received a call- a odd call that Robin Williams would like to have a personal shopper for the evening and would be arriving at 11pm.

The Robin I saw was almost unrecognizable, and looked something like the picture below.

However his cloths were casual. Robin came in slightly disheveled and I met him at the door.
quiet and shy at first nothing much was said, he looked stressed. I asked what he had in mind, he said he didn't even know his own family anymore and to just pick anything. Once on the top level Robin seemed to lighten up and ran for the tools and toys and i started to see the beloved actor I knew and adored. i talked about working in film and some gigs I had done, He turned into father mode and said I could do anything I wanted, but if I was smart Id stay completely away from the industry.

I at one point asked if he had amount he would like to spend, or budget, he laughed and said, when your dead your dead, none of this shit matters. He had a quirky funny side but also seemed a little dark that night, looking back on it now.

Depression, the Silent Killer, as many put it. .I've had my fare share and can say I am a expert in it. My mother has depression, my father had depression, my son was recently diagnosed and at one point had situational depression. All different forms, shapes and sizes.

I had this silent killer running so rapid in my family I took a few courses on it. The silent before the storm..most times at the ultimate high peak of ones time, is the time you have to watch most I find.
The lows are clear, its like a horrible hangover that wont go away, but the high part of depression is when the person is the most daring to take there own life.

I can honestly say I cried today, this man brought so much joy to my childhood, teens and finally in my adult years , even if it was only for two hours.

I have met many stars in my time, this one was very special and I had hoped to have a beer with him at some point. The world will not forget this one for sometime I am sure.
the last scene robin says, i wont forget you guys..well Robin we will not forget you.

The best scene ever in Mrs Doughtfire!

Robin If you are up there, have a beer with my dad would ya...


A glass of wine is fitting for this time, here's to you my friend..until a later time.

Giv Signing off on this sad day..
xox

Aug 10, 2014

The Breaking Of So Great A Thing, Should Make A Greater Crack, William Shakespeare

A well minded senior citizen shit her pants today,  the poop was completely up her white polyester pants,  the senior, panting and crying, struggling with her walker to rush into a washroom outside of Target US today. I was in the stall next.

I was with two long term friends, and I heard my one friends voice crack, as she said " are you ok? Please let me help you", I quickly came out of the stall to talk to the women and told her I worked in residential care. I asked if she minded if I cleaned her up a bit.

 "Shirley said, Please help me" The janitor was keen to give me some gloves, and I was able to quickly  undress and clean up miss Shirley and wash her soiled cloths with Shirley's Diva 70 something year old friend, with only one eye, was standing by telling us just a few things.

 Ms Shirley recently had a hip replacement and several other aliments, including cancer, Shirley had almost no control of her muscles left in her legs, or bowels for that matter and her grandchildren would be visiting this week, so they wanted to go out and get a few things.

She said she was the caregiver and ,just happened to have purchased panties and would bring the car round- this was Shirley's longest and dearest, best friend.

My other friend, quickly barged into the scene and said, I will purchase a nice skirt today. We struggled to get Ms Shirley back into her car, as she also tried to give us money-which we refused.

Sad and Scared of herself for being a burden, so she felt...Please Everyone, take a stand and help someone in need everyday! We were told we were three angels today, hugs were given and we left feeling...that possibly maybe more could be done.

Sometimes.....

There is the little old lady standing in the line, counting every penny, and you are pissed cause you don't have your Starbucks yet.

You quickly hurry into a grocery store to get something you forgot and neglect to see the man in the walker struggling to get the door.

You see a women in Target in white pants with a massive shit streak up the back of the seam, do you laugh? move farthest to the left because of a possible stench?

Sure as fuck you do, because most Vancouverites and our fellow Americans close by are to consumed with their cellphone, rushing to get there own shit done for the day, ..

It breaks my heart that I myself can only see my mother maybe once a month due to working overload to try and live in this overpriced consumed city.

I do know that I love Vancouver, this is my home- I am lucky to be here, I have done more with my life in the last few years I have ever done. Unfortunately money is freedom here. That is how we feel anyway. If you don't have money to rest take a break and "See" you are stressed to the hilt making ends meet.

I somehow, manage to see my surroundings most of times, especially the homeless the disadvantage and the disabled. If I did have time, I would do more awareness.

 Today I saw, heard and felt humility in another person. I was rushing to get to the boarder, when this incident happened, I let time pass...and at the boarder I waited in the heat for 1.5 hours. I did not care because...I felt good about helping someone else just a short time ago.

 Is this how we have been programmed? Recently I have been able to see a handful of lawyers due to some federal debt, and a bankruptcy discharge and also trying to get my EI claim open due to the school board strike. Most people don't know, I recently lost my car and had to struggle to buy a lemon, with shit mechanics and no air conditioning, let my pet suffer with no meds, clean out my freezer in food, and also get help from all sorts of neighbors and friends, and also that I have 5 dollars to my name for two weeks. I am not worried, there are worst people off, I will do fine and be OK, I always am.

I would walk out of that mall in underwear if I had to today so that little old lady would not be humiliated any longer, unfortunately, she would not have fit my pants. Its just who I am. I give help, I receive help.

One lawyer said, float. Just become as poor as you possibly can, you have a window of opportunity here to clean up the mess and take a break. I am so programmed to run the rat race and have the daily luxuries ...It is very hard to change some of the daily luxuries, and trust me sometimes I fuck up.
I am determined to just do it, to cut back on everything, this will be the year I have worked the hardest I am sure.

Have you ever thought of what would happen if the city was wiped out with a tornado? If you became homeless? Right now some of our "Stuff seems so mandatory" It really is not, and so I am giving a example.

Here is a list of daily luxuries a person does NOT need.

Cable, Internet, home phone:  $136 minimum a month- typically a run of the mill bundle package
Meat and cupboard snacks: $150 a month
Starbucks and other drinks from store:s $30 to $40 a month
Eating out, a bottle of wine: 12 to $15 a meal,$ 10 for wine- We will say once a month
A gym pass or yoga pass: $40 and$ 80
Store bought produce: $40 to 60 a month
A car, insurance and gas:- say you own the car, insurance is $100, gas average $150

This is a total of $780, crazy hey..how do we do it? This is not even shelter, food and heat- all the things we really do need.

you phone and Internet can all come from a cellphone in one, including movies so your average is 150 a month, or you can buy a 35 dollar pay as you go and be really frugal.

Meat, why not get lean and be a vegan for a bit?
you can buy a 680g can of coffee for 9.00, it lasts a month and if you make it right it tastes better than Starbucks.
eating out - well, that is a sacrifice that is hard when you say, its only once a month
gym and yoga you can do outside and in house
this year I did two garden boxes and have all my produce grown- except fruit- this project to start cost $180 for the year- that means it was 15 dollars a month.
ok no car, well bus is a option at 180 a month. I need a car for work unfortunately, so this is not a option.

So this is $354 a month- its still very high, you could bike like in Europe- but still very hard. No wonder many of us can't save or acquire a decent pension!

If we did all of this, we would all live longer. The last 4 months have made me think about many things. I recently had to go backwards in my career, and now I don't even know if my career is stable.
I am so worried, and wondering what my calling is, I do know what it is-but I don't have a solid plan.

My old career is residential care, I have also started back more hours with Trauma Scene, which I have always enjoyed. Seniors are dying off due to heat, poor health and poor care, they simply do not also have enough for a pension to get the help they need. Miss Shirley had her 70/80 year old best friend attempting to do the care for today, there was no way that this was possible. We saw that.

The actual condition of the seniors as well, made me think about my own health and how important it is to be very active in Yoga for flexibility and strength, to take my massive vitamins for my calcium and my diabetes, to eat raw whole foods. To do things in a primitive way again.

I put the picture up of the little old lady as a thug because its almost like our seniors need to be like this to get the attention they need. Most have to much pride to ask for real help, or..it simple boils down to cost.
So while you are out buying the latest fad, maybe instead, donate, or drop a visit to your nearest senior facility. Just saying.

We learn from our Elders.

Peace Out
Gvix signing off....