Nov 10, 2011

Escapades Of SingleHood

Im sexy and I know it by lmafo on Grooveshark Dating is supposed to be fun!


Escapades of being single thus far...

Well, I cannot say that I have actually gone on a date. I had a amazing date with my two long term girls friends, and I have to say it was better than most dates I have been on in the past-I laughed so hard the next day my face wouldn’t move!


We all met in Delta at my one friends house, curled up to watch bridesmaids-now that is a must see movie, even for men-oh my..Laughed so hard! We decided to chat it up with some Buddy's from our home town via text-

Course they wanted boob shots..I sent in a stunt double, which made the situation even funnier-then our buddy tells us he hurt his foot in a bad motorcycle accident-and sends a pic, we were expecting a mangled foot, we see his foot-and then realize his slong is hanging out of his boxers...I still laugh to this day. To converse and flirt with male friends that you know are harmless, funny and make you laugh-definatly sets the evening!

We slept in bunk beds..ran around the house..and were silly-The next day was tattoo parlour and dress up, the only thing missing was shooting guns at the range.


Thai food dinner, wine a comedy show-The comedy show was a guy from our high school, Ian Bagg. Awesome Show! Some other girlfriends had flown down as well. Ian was awesome, the funniest part was his discussion on noises from the vagina..I really think he should do the vagina monologues..We all headed upstairs to the lounge for drinks..It was like a high school reunion, and although I didn’t say much at this point..I missed home. Two of my long-term friends are larger women with big tattas..and I was received into their arms with big hugs like no time had passed. I so miss my home town, even thou I said Id never go back..we are all grown up..and its great! I miss the late nigh humour of my friends.


Off to a club. The Cellar...we pick a corner and there are two Indian fellows by there..not bad looking. We start taking pictures of each other, us girls..then the two guys get in on it..then they are taking pictures on their phones, then they are touching my friends face and hair and getting distinctively way to close-It was like those shows on national geographic when the little African kids have never seen light people before..lol
We go dance..they follow..we leave..its like cat n mouse..


By 11pm the club is hoping with men, We are in the center of the dance floor with two pelvises to each ass..that's six dicks trying to pole dance threw our outfits..it was one sweaty jungle out there-a horrible nightmare of a low grade orgy porno movie. I had the 30yr something, plaid shirt dude sporting the best movember handlebar stash ever..He was super sexy, shirt was un buttoned to his navel, tight little butt..super cute...the next day ..the pictures..Not so Much.


We were so overwhelmed, we were sober, by the time we came back for air..we were laughing so hard
At one point of the evening my Girlfriend turned around and there was a little person there..well sure right?
Little people go to clubs..He was able to use, not his pelvis, but his face..lol


We could not keep up a conversation-we left in one piece and all safely made it home-It was the best two day date ever! I am still having flash backs.


So, I went on Plenty of fish, Match.com and Zooak..Ugh..after 2 weeks I closed them all. I decided to list single on Facebook and just see who would come out of the woodwork. Wow. However still no real connection. I had one official date set up, but then I got pneumonia..we cancelled..he said we would re-schedule..However I see that he is in 3 sports, fresh out of a relationship, and is simply doing his thing.
We are in the same sport..guess Ill pick up the vibe next time he decides to come out.


I have 3 X boyfriends over the last 7 years..not including the last one-All are in full relationships..yet all seem to want to “Hook-Up” What the hell is that?? Dirty Texts...Remember this ..There is one I did pause and consider..Only for the simple fact..we were a short fling, and we have been friends forever..Until he told me he was newly bisexual..that was it., but Dam! Doesn’t change our friendship..or the attraction..


I just don’t go that way..I was walking through the mall with my long-term friend and was like WTF..


So she asked me, to ask him a series of questions...Are you the catcher or the pitcher?


Do you smoke the cigar or polish the pole?


Oh god he said both..so it was left in right field..lol
However we are still flirting?? UGH


I chatted with a man for over two weeks via text and phone calls..Seemed to be going well..till one day he stated everything that was wrong with me in one sentence-what “he felt” was wrong with me” So you’re a mother every two weeks, that’s a shitty scenario. I am 100% single..hencing the I several times..LOL.. first of all I am neither..more like a guidance counsellor that isn’t doing her job very well it seems.


He apologized, I felt he had some other issues..we agree to meet-In a food court! Sometimes I am gullible..Well that was a mistake right there I think, The meet up actually went OK. He's thinking, Yeah, I didn't even have to buy the chick Lunch..well I wanted sushi and he wanted Greek-

Then he texts, telling me, I wanted commitment and he was not ready for that?? Yup I have been single 3 months..Looking to get married..NOT...What happen to “Hi, Id really like to take you to dinner and get to know you”


Then 2nd date, a movie..3rd date a tittie feel, 4th date..who knows..Men are fucked up. Who the hell talks about commitment when you meet someone..well I can honestly say..I dont think a person wants to die alone.

A first date for a women, is supposed to be fun..you do pre lunch with your girlfriends, they help you pick out your outfit..you wear heels and a dress..you smell good..you have a wonderful time...and well maybe sometimes you fuck up, and have a one nite stand-But you cant really say the date was bad. This is not from my experience..but many of my friends are dating and going threw this right now.

Not Me thou...I agree to meet in a fucking food court! We are friends..after the confusing text conversation, I feel like I was the poor victim of a horrible marriage and was filing for divorce.

Next...So I have had two friends fly in to meet me..now that’s some interest..But am I really interested?
I am not sure, but I have to say that both have extreme class-I don't have to worry about wear to meet-
because one had pre-arranged, and the other has pre-arranged. Simple Dinner Drinks..and yes I get to wear a dress, and know I can go home with my dignity in tact. Possibly have a great friendships in the end.


I have so many fabulous things lined up with my Girlie friends that I really couldn’t give a shit!


I am very lucky to have the people in my life I do, my five best friends here in Vancouver have helped me see the light, and made me realise the world is my oyster, Sometimes I can’t keep up with my high flying corporate girls..But they make room for me and make it happen.


My girls from the North, live in the worlds playgrounds..Condo in Costa, Mountains n forest in the north-Home in the states, Best winter lands in the world- It is time to put in the quality time. I would much rather sit around the camp fire and light farts on fire than deal with dating.

I live by the statement my buddy said from my hometown..and he is considered a total dog..but gawd I love him

“The man of your dreams will find you, and he will kick your ass up grouse mountain..Wrestle you in the morning and make you breakfast..”He will be the guy who will make it happen for you-


So No, I have yet to go on an official date, This is fine by me. If there is all this crap n hoopla in between


Id rather just say screw it! I have decided a few good months of 24/7 shift work is what I need, save the dough and get out of Dodge-I am honestly still in shock over the last two weeks of conversation and events that have taken place In my life. It has been fun with a whole lotta attention..which is great really-everyone needs that! Thanks Boyz.

So this weekend..who knows.
GVix Signing off..








13 comments:

  1. Hey just some advice from a guy. Cut out the texting to potential dates, disconnect from unproductive or negative "friends" and old flames and for a 1st date meet for tea/coffee and leave the date early because you need to go meet a friend.

    Trust me it will help.

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  2. Ghessh give me credit..I know these things fellow Employee..lol..it is addictive at times..

    I have cut down on texting..its dam right annoying..I much prefer a call. Old flames are out..Meeting friends is in!:)

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  3. Ok..I was wrong...I now know who the comment is from..LOL

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  4. I'm always up for some blue flames around the campfire! LOL!

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  5. No I lied..I have no idea who left that comment..but I am not as dumb as you think MR!

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  6. Just giving you some ideas that you do not seem to be using and that have been proven to work over thousands of years, yes thousands of years. Don't hate the player hun :)

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  7. LOL, see ya on "the book'

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  8. hmmm...Maybe that was Mr Big..I should really call him..long overdue...

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  9. nope not him...but you should always call old friends to catch up

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