Oct 3, 2014

The Boyfriend

So what does it mean to have a boyfriend? Does it mean you have someone to go to dinner with, open doors, cuddle with? Someone you are intimate with ?have fun with and do things with?
Candlelight dinners, surprises, sneaking off to his place finding surprises there? maybe a short trip?
Dancing, venues events, meeting his friends your friends and family? Planning things you want to do together, receiving help in life or home?Talking on the phone for hours, telling long hold tales of your day, and having that instinctive interest to share n provide?

You would think these are all the things a boyfriend provides you with and via versa. In Vancouver this is not what I have found. I have found disagreeableness and intimate conversations only relayed in text messages. A communication blockage on all levels.

Most couples don't have their shit together, or one might but the other does not.It is the same as taking that step in a open coffee house to smile at a pretty girl and ask for her number, or send a cookie to her order-it just does not happen.

Life brings stress, working to live brings overload and dating is a expendable procedure for short lived experiences, until one day you realize you are alone. The quote, if you never settle you'll never find what you are looking for. Hmm this brings thought now doesn't it?

There are good men and hardworking men and bad men and cheating men and then there are men who are stuck in a life cycle that is conditioned. My motto is, Accept all, expect nothing and you will never be disappointed. I will not ever use that quote again unless it applies to goals. Because I do expect and I do except more than most and what I find is ..in all of this I expect nothing more than what I am. They say, gee at 45 your pickings are slim..If I continue to date men in Vancouver that is a possibility.

I have recently been dating my partner for 5 months now, and I have to say he is an exception from the rest, however we have our daily challenges much less than most- still I feel like I am on my own path to learning, and he is not really following- We have discussed this and the communication is poor, another condition that social media has given to the population to be allow to hide from your fears and rejections in the form of text messages.

I have discussed this topic on several occasions and feel a need to close my social media down again for a short stint, I have also decided that unless work related or a meeting, I will no longer have discussions over text messages. I am the worst texter ever and quite often I am mis read or have major spelling issues due to vision.

I would like to say I am a high achiever. I work several careers currently and run my own company on a small scale to move with freedom and flexibility, the work is hard to juggle between all, but when that debt load is indeed paid, I will be able to say, I can take time off- with no regrets. Time off for me is still doing, still achieving- time off for me would be to go to a foreign place and write- work with families and other global areas of the world, experience culture. Lying on a beach on occasion is nice too. Wide Mouth Smile said to me recently, ( this is my X finance) I don't think you will ever leave the country. Well I have, just not to the places that hold meaning to me now. I was quite upset by this comment, because right now this is how I feel. However after I noticed his new tattoo, that said THOR,( Probably to subconsciously compensate for his insecurities) and his ideas of his dream to build a sports car, have a moter home and have his in laws move into a house on his property- I thought, WOW, glad that ended. I did value the visit and valued one thing he said, witch was, we will hate each other, but we will always talk.

He was indeed a grand provider, hard worker and did the best he could for my children, the one thing I do value more than anything, is his hard work- I regret I was not how I am now as I was in our past as far as drive and change.

It is important in relationships to have a keen interest in ones  projects, this takes a load off and and shows you care about each others interests to help build on those dreams. It is a seamless friendship and partnership, I find most of these relationships in women. No, I am not going gay, however I give honor to our culture and partnerships of the same sex, most in Vancouver are dual high achievers. Unlike the vast majority of the rest. Women in their 40's require I find stimulation and communication, or else your just like the rest, the lust dies off and then you are faced with boredom.

A good friend of mine, recently spoke to a man she was excited about on POF, first off he was a dentist and she is a dental assistant. Perfect match right? after a few chats she pulled something that I always do, googled his name. What she got was a headline with his name attached

Dentist facing charges over washroom video cam

I read several articles on the man, and it is a harmless case- however he still was preforming a disgusting illegal act, which he plead guilty to.He stated it was surveillance due to thought of theft, however the camera was placed in a area that would portray more in the terms of voyeurism.  Would you meet a man that had a title like that? He told my friend he was not like that anymore and wanted to meet her to explain.
You just never know, do your research women.

I am so frustrated with the quality of relationships, Id frankly just rather be alone, however I don't want to be alone forever. So what are the deal breakers? I'd like some comments. I'd like your opinion on what the deal breakers in your mind are. If we have to settle on some things, what do you think they should be? 

So leave a comment a tale or two
GVix Signing off with a glass of Vino

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