Who would have thought at the age of 45, Id be training in a new career, have a roommate, open a company and be on a wind whirl of life? Well this happened. After the unsettling strike, cut in hours at the Vancouver School Board, I decided to take a hard look at my life in many areas.  Some decisions almost made me homeless and food less on many of the months..I have lost friends, distant myself from family and I can only say that in the long run my choices have been solid. The people that kept in contact and stuck around have known all along the choices I have had to make. For a better lack of word, they have shown up.

So I thought Id share a bit, after not writing for sometime. I realized I really was fucked when the VSB went on strike and I would not qualify for Unemployment Insurance due to federal debt. My time was Sushi dog time, at 330 pm I'd be home, Giving my dog loves, taking her out, giving her medication, having a hour of cuddle time- then just before Halloween, Sushi Dog stopped moving. I looked at her vacant eyes that night and feared the worst. The worst came. I wrote her long letter about what a good dog she was, and thanked her for not only being my companion, but being my friend. Sushi's vet bills were running me 600 dollars a month. This went on for one year. Small companies I worked for kept me afloat on the financial end, cash jobs and diligence kept me keeping my bills barely afloat. At the end of the day, everyday- I just wanted to be with my dog.

I received over 20 cards for sushi, with gifts and flowers, huge support of my friends..and my landlords left bags on the door knob flowers and books on 101 things to do on your bucket list. I still cant go home at 330, and when I do , most times I cry. Martin the cat also mourns for his dog, screaming at night, to sleeping on my head. Martin has now taken a turn for the worst,he has a anxiety that is giving him spasms and has now hurt his spine somehow...life goes on. I am working threw it to hope for a speedy recovery for Martin.

After I picked myself up, I decided to take a hard look at how this federal debt was affecting me and also how to get discharged from my bankruptcy- If you are considering bankruptcy, please read all the fine print cause it can be the worst decision you make without proper counsel. The federal debt required much research, and going to court with the Tribunal Counsel-many many documents dated as far back as 2000. The discharge requires meetings and pleas with Canada Credit Counselling, Debt Canada.. to find a loophole to find a lawyer who will take the case to court based on hardship- this cost money, allot of money- unless you do much leg work yourself,

Having debt from shopping sprees or credit cards, is not quite the same as Federal Debt-
Quite different in fact, and can affect your life forever. My shopping sprees and love for label names and designer clothing ended in 2007.  This was not my debt. My debt was student loans, taxes penalty's for EI earnings and taxes, creating a daily interest rate, moving for 2500 owed to 6000 penalties, to 30k in over 5 years.

When you file for Bankruptcy they don't tell you that your surplus income will be taken, they don't tell you that your federal debt wont be covered, only a small percentage. At least the not so trusting trustee I chose did not. So for 7 years I paid into EI and didn't get a tax return but my refunds where in the 1500-2500 range, if its not going toward my debt with the federal government, where is it? I received my papers this week, that after 5 years they are willing to re-open the case and go to court. This all has been taxing on my life, leaving me tired and depressed. I did eventually get granted the EI, at the end of the summer when I was completely consumed with bills and had a temporary roommate move in to help me out. I would have no cable, Internet or phone- my food would be from BUY LOW. Not a drop of alcohol would be purchased, my produce would come from the garden.

Meanwhile...hours are slim at VSB, so why not challenge myself and go POSTAL? Sushi is not here, I can get into shape and make money.

On day three I realized I'm a fucking mule uphill and want to die. However..I am not discouraged, I am excited, I can tuff it out..move into something else in Canada Post. It has been quite entertaining with the different personalities of Canada Post, everyone I have met has been helpful and encouraging- even with the PT Change. They do tell you it is a 6 month learning curve, and only 20% can make or break it. I now know why. It was 3 weeks of continuous tests and physical labour.  
After the training you still feel like there is no way you can go out on your own and do the job.

Letter Carriers do not just deliver the mail, it is two hours or up to 4 hours of sorting in a case in numeric order, you have a quota of flyer's and householders, packages and parcels that all have to be scanned, you have to deal with customs...then there is the danger of the job, physically and bomb treats, tampered mail..then there are the relay boxes that are filled with garbage, used condoms, sometimes live animals..Trips slips n falls...

On Thursday this week,  I did 5k, on Friday another 5k on Monday 15k with 8000 stairs. They say 35lbs is the satchel, try 55-60lbs,  its recorded on my Fitbit- I did not think I was capable of even doing that, I lost 4lbs.

Meanwhile everyone is having babies, travelling, spending time with their partner, moving into new dwellings and planning the festive season. I seem to be shut off..even in my own new relationship.

The relationship has been taxing I'm sure with my mood swings and upheaval, and lack of availability. However, I have to say I am quite impressed on the support from someone who has only known me 5 months I have received more support than any other relationship. The mental support for sure.

I had coffee with a very long term friend, and he said "I don't think you will never go anywhere"
This affected me for days on end. I decided to try for a international women s day with homes for humanity, I had to raise 1900, and come up with my own flight as well. I received, one donation.
I received zero donations from friends or family-

My son put a quote on facebook, You will end up really disappointed if you think people will do the same for you, not everyone has the same heart as you.

He is absolutely right, there comes a point when you realize the only person who can create your destiny is you. You and only you. I have served people my entire life, some people disagree, in fact some people find me quite selfish.  I have been selfish for two years trying to piece my life together and quite frankly I just don't have much to give anymore. Over the years with trials and turbulence's in the end the person that came threw for me, was myself.

I am back at the Vancouver School Board tomorrow and I couldn't be more over joyed! I will wear nice cloths put makeup on and have a much relaxed day. In short this is where \i've been and I think it is where I am supposed to be.

Gvix Signing off


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