Self Embarking Journey

Over the last two years my obsession with travel has now provided me with a wall of maps;  flyer's, travel books and learning new languages. I spend my time, creatively thinking of ways to save and ways to get there and why I want to go and what is my purpose and different reasons why I want to go.

The idea of teaching in China, was not really much supported, and now I see why. The plan was not really thought out, "do I want to teach in China?" After much research and looking into options, well sure on a short term contract. The idea was not really thought through, like many of my ideas. Fleeting ideas, "I'm going to be a Astronaut!" I am going to join the RCMP!

OK the wanting to be a Astronaut clearly was a ego booster for my self, that I can do anything, and I can!

The hard reality of wanting to be a Municipal Police Officer was the realization of:  "why should they pick me over all the athletic graduates entering for application, how many years would I actually be able to serve on the force."

The truth is if I really wanted it, I would have to put in a minimum of hours as a trafficking enforcer, then street beat cop..and pay my dues. Oh it was all so exhausting in the end. I don't think it would of brought me much joy, that was in 2008.

It was back to the drawing board on finding out what the heck I was meant to do with the travel piece.

My Uncle Randy was passing through town on route to South East Asia. Randy is a Geologist.
I received some Chapters gift cards and of coarse these were meant for travel educational books!

All books about women who went on quests, finding their purpose.

So how does one know they are ready for huge change? Maybe when you realize everything you own means nothing. Somehow I have downsized from a 6 bedroom house to a 800 square food space in the last 3 years. Maybe its when you start meeting people at random. ( Attraction) Or maybe its when you have made yourself disposable at employment. I do not mean disposable as in fired, I mean I have somehow managed to make myself a casual in my career. I do not have to ask the boss anymore, I make my own schedule. You don't work, you don't get paid. I have no benefits anymore, no pension plan, zero vacation plan, no sick pay.  A good retirement plan gives you 1000 dollars a month to live on, fun times! Not.

As we go along in life we pick up things and people have said, shared with you, like a financial seminar I went to a year ago, networking seminars to add to my database. I have a substantial amount of contacts and readers to fulfill my dream. The dream I did not know what was, until today.

The past two months I have done nothing but work and research ideas. I have thought about people who have passed through my life.

I put travel on hold because of many questions, what if my mother gets sick? I need 20K to see the world.
What will I do with my little dog? Will my kids be OK? What if I get sick?

The only person holding myself back is myself.

I am at work, enjoying another one of the great days! My teens I am with today are on work experience at Metro town Mall, and I get to spend the day reading up in Chapters. Day 2 is a day of Art, 4 art classes  from 8-3 where I assist the students. This career has changed my life. I truly look forward to work everyday. The school board is not enough to live on in Vancouver unfortunately. You want to do work you love right? The kind of work that does not feel like work, you want freedom. If only I could have this career and go home at the end of the day.

I am embarking on a 1-2 year challenge that will set my goals to a higher level. I am working toward self reliant businesses. I start training tomorrow for a whole new field of work, enriching work. The next is my own mobile business. It has taken me years to find out what type of business will give me residual income.

Residual income gives you freedom, it allows you to work at your own pace, and from anywhere. Have you ever heard of the suitcase entrepreneur? This women "Natalie" Is the tool to take you and your business around the world.

There are so many direct marketing companies out there, you have to pick one that works for you, or create one of your own. I have to say I have tried many. Remember Amway? Sucker I was.
Tupperware, Avon, I cannot count how many I was involved in.

In today's world, you can find one that works for you and you'd be surprised how the teams help you stay focused and work on a solid home business. Its not a quick buck anymore. True direct sales take work and education. You defiantly want to pick one you believe in, not one that a persons sells you on.

I go to the travel section in Chapters and pick up this book called around the world, the first page changes my thoughts on travel immediately. apparently you can see the world on 5k-wow. here are some of the frequently asked questions below:

I wrote a email to a women who has always been on my shelf, as a tool, she has always given me strength, and I hope to have some more clarity on my path. Many people go through life never really thinking about travelling, this is fine for some. I know this is something I need to do. You know when your gut tells you you need to do something and things start falling into place, its very much like the secret.. We create doors that open. Recently a few doors have opened. These doors for me are like signs.

One example of this is I commented on a mans face book page.

The page was cool, it was called "First Breath"
Lessons in Diving, but oh so not! I am into water sports but actually don't know how to swim, so I took a interest on the page at random. The page actually is about facing your fears, its about going to another level in life, it is so much more than just a diving lesson. I spoke to Jase Sugar, and he is a traveler taking his passion aboard and doing what he loves and giving people that second breath to see a different world.

For me to take the First Breath coarse would mean I would have to get over my fear of deep water, I would then see another world I have always wanted to see. Diving was my fathers passion.
The field of work I am embarking on this weekend, was my fathers sickness and aspiration at the same time.
It is hard to explain.

I recently ran into my friend Michael Averill singing at a small fundraiser. As he sang, I felt like he was singing into my soul. He smiled and was happy to see me. Michael is achieving his dreams traveling the world , finding his fathers lost songs from long ago, he is on a self seeking journey and releasing a album.

After the set, in his mere presence I started to tear up with joy to see him, and seeing him I just felt like I had failed myself in what I set out to do. The work stress, the finance..the continual crap that is bogging me down. His blue eyes asked questions over and over in a mere glace, "Laura what are you doing?"I could not say much. I scrambled in my wallet for my last 10 dollars for the week to purchase his new CD, which I listen to religiously in my car to calm myself. There is clarity in my poorness, each bill is becoming zero, but its a tight budget and I have been very strict.

When I look at Michael, the stuff in my life, that is in the, "meantime" ( refer to Iyanla Vanzant: In the Meantime)Is brought to the surface.

What does love look like? If you have never seen it, you probably don't know.
Were my parents loving and affectionate and show love on a regular basis? Was I surrounded by love of relatives, friends and family gathering together to support one another on a regular basis? Did I have friends in my lifeline that had real love relationships?
I had none of this, I was loved don't get me wrong, very much in fact.
There is no love interest with Michael, it goes beyond that. He is a man that resonates Love-It means, he loves himself to the core, his mind is in tune with his body-
There are maybe a handful of people who give me this vibe.
Last year it was Micheal, Tia, Erin and Solar- Its called working on your stuff, people, and I have been doing it for 6 months-
There is no relationship in your life that will work till this shit is done, there is no life path that will work till this is done.

So what next?

OK I now have 7 books on hold at Chapters and I am almost done my day with Vancouver school board.

I listened to Natalie's podcast: You will have to place it into your browser to hear it.

I will attend a important meeting tonight which will solidify my future. The personal business I have chosen, which I am not going to share with the world until the business plan is done and the website is running.

I start training in a field that will skyrocket threw Vancouver I hope and give me leadership and education.
The training holds so in tune with my dad , he would be proud.
Travelling now, would serve no purpose.I have to deal with the crap, or it will come with me.

I am sick, I do not think I have ever been this toxic in my life and my change for the better I feel started today. I have had some tough hurtles this past month. Slight transitional depression in fact. I have some things to get in place. My mother needs to go to Nova Scotia. My mom reconnected with family after 35 years.
My grandmother I never met is 92 years of age. It is my goal to bring my mother back home after 35 years.
My relationship with my grandson has to be re established and strong. I faced my fears and we have a picnic date next week.

I am finding out I have cousins  a brother, uncles and all sorts of family I never met. I will meet some on May 25th of this year.

My sons are men now, and I need to know they are 100%..getting there. I need a family for my companions
This will take someone very special to care for my little pug and her boyfriend Martin, the Himalayan Seal Back cat. First Breath has to be done, the full coarse.

I look back at my original plan, which is a good thing to do with life change, and it wasn't a very good one.
I do not want to teach ESL in China, unless it is as a tour contract. I want a self seeking journey and to write about it. I've realized this finally, and I know one Italian friend who would be happy to hear I realized it.

So, I am not going anywhere. I have more work to do. I am on the 1st floor.
In "The Meantime" you are in a state of confusion, reluctance and paralysis. But also you are learning and moving forward. In the meantime, insults become rage, small arguments become feuds, pain becomes deeper keep moving forward, but you keep hurting. This was last year.

Stay Tuned :)


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