Don't Live With A Asshole
It seems with Vancouver's rising cost of living one cant get by without a roommate, part of why I moved away.
I had a handful of boarders, some good, some bad. One bi polar one woke me at 3am stating my cat was in the rafters and if I did not deal with it she would punch my cat. To my horror she punched my cat. Her belongings were out on the street the next day with changed locks.
I find the most difficult of roommates are women. Both my own sons were fairly good roommates. Messy at times, but took part in cleaning contributing to the house. For most of the time.
I had one male roommate who would come home early and refuse to let my dog out for a pee. That was cruel. But he was clean quiet, slightly bizarre, but nothing compared to the women I have lived with.
I think I only, to this day lived with one completely normal women, she had marital difficulties, but was a joy and normal to live with. In fact I lived with her, so she may say I was difficult, who knows.
I know the 3 women I could live with, go figure they have all been my friend for over 10 years.
Whatever you do, do not Live With A Asshole. so what is a asshole? lets define. I have a few women friends who have contributed notes.
Type 1: An Asshole is someone you moved in with, expecting some sort of friendship and trust to take place, this could mean one day a week or one month a week. So when you are not home they leave a string of mess that you come home to. Your treat cupboard is pillaged or a stable in your fridge, you require daily is now missing and not replaced, like milk. The garbage has not been taken out, they left the lights on. There is a mass of dirty dishes on the counter and in the sink, un-rinsed- but you have a dishwasher.
Type 2: They have substituted you, for a man completely, so he's hanging out. They give no warning, he's just there- all the time.
Type 3: An Asshole has no respect for your needs, you are tired, you want to watch a good flick be silent and lie on the couch- they have pounded back a six pack and are continually talking, and worse...its about work, it is all about the shit day they had a work.
Type 4: They wake up incredibly happy you think a unicorn has left some magic turds in their cereal, its utterly annoying, the only thing you can think of, is bitch slapping them across the head. They even have a full face of make up for the gym. For the love of Gawd.
Type 5: (My most recent) You attempt to discuss your frustrations...mess...loud phone chatting...ping ..ping...ping of texting.
The fact that they pull the garbage and place it by the door, on the hardwood floors, but cant make the 5 minute walk to the outside garbage. So then they are angry and you are walking on eggshells now, and its entirely your fault, because they feel you judged them.
Who is in control of feelings? You are...Right....
There finances revolve around beauty products, their spare time is getting ready for two hours in the washroom.
They cant live life without a dude. Every conversation is about dudes, not the horror in the world right now, not world peace, defiantly not anything that involves community. They also talk about how they are going to play men? wow that's nice. But they are a fun loving church goer.
So you discuss your frustrations, and they never see you again.
They bail on rent, cable and everything else that was joint, but they were never here, so its now your bill, in full. That is a full blown Asshole. I bought a gift, stating thanks for the place, sinafuckingnara
Type 6: Its like your partner, that does nothing, your his mother, nanny and sex slave. That my friends, is a Asshole, you are living with a Asshole.
Type 7: What about waking up in the am , to, "Sorry I borrowed your underwear" Better yet, "Sorry I borrowed your boyfriend last night and then they send you flowers of apology. I had that happen, really.
Better still, your roommate sleeps with the dude you bring in for drinks, that your interested in, after you go to bed, you can hear it. That happened. In 1998.
Years n years of Assholes. I can also admit that I have been a Asshole, I have left a sink of dishes in a water, while rushing out the door, we did not own a dishwasher, which meant- if my roommate wanted to cook, they'd have to clean them, this time it was a accident and I immediately washed them and said sorry, they were a Asshole for over a week. Learnt my lesson on that one.
Type 6 again: You come home and you are bitched at, that's a Asshole. I used to say my fiancé had a flair to his Assholeness, he would be super sweet, and blow up at random after he got his piece of ass.
So maybe I should just live alone. Forever.
No one is perfect, and the fact that I lived with some of the Assholes in this blog, does not define who they are, some are actually very good people, and I am friends with today.
People, grow and mature over time. The truth is people change, except my last roommate, that shit will stay with her forever- and thankfully, not me.
My son who leaves his socks (after working 10 hours in a greasy kitchen) on the couch, and you feel like you have to throw the couch out now, but don't. You clean it and pray it doesn't happen again. But it does.
Some Assholes just never see the light, best to move on with grace in this situation. Like the last ASShole I lived with who left bills and had some of my things, if I texted, I was harassing- If I asked her family member to remind her to bring my stuff, I was a asshole, bitch..the list goes on that I received in texts, this is a person who takes zero accountability in life.
She said, "You were recently in my situation" I'm assuming she means broke, because if it means screwing over WCB for a mass amount of money and not budgeting during her WCB pay, while getting hair n nails done, dinners out, ventures out, value village shopping sprees for 3 months, and then realizing WCB is onto her ass, and she then only gets 1200....well No I have never been in that situation.
When I decided to be rent free, I loved on maybe 200 a month, I extended my bills, I asked for help- I accepted the fate that my injury would not be fixed unless I did it myself- and I looked for work that would not aggravate my injury.
I am horrified that this person feels fine in her bullshit righteousness. When life gives you a shitty deal...I say
I have moved on since, however I must say it sure feels good venting about it to the universe.
I now have a very nice home, where family and friends can visit and stay. I have decided that
my life of roommates, boarders and Assholes is over. Except Boarders that are my actual friends.
Unknown Quote:
Stop minimizing and discounting your feelings. You have every right to feel the way you do. Your feelings may not always be logical, but they are always valid. Because if you feel something, then you feel it and it’s real to you. It’s not something you can ignore or wish away. It’s there, gnawing at you, tugging at your core, and in order to find peace, you have to give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you feel. You have to let go of what you’ve been told you “should” or “shouldn’t” feel. You have to drown out the voices of people who try to shame you into silence. You have to listen to the sound of your own breathing and honor the truth inside you. Because despite what you may believe, you don’t need anyone’s validation or approval to feel what you feel. Your feelings are inherently right and true. They’re important and they matter — you matter — and it is more than okay to feel what you feel. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, convince you otherwise.
Thanks for listening..
GVix Signing off
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