Jul 11, 2013

Grosner Kids

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I always told my kids they could do anything in life. My kids both went back to school and did very well.
Both have trades. As a young parent my communication was always very clear. We were considered poor, however my kids had all the game systems a kid could want from their grandad, designer cloths, a nice home, tons of food, friends and were well liked most of the time. My kids hit a hard faze from 15-18..

Both boys had run In's with drugs. My eldest was a pot head, had some experiments with chemicals, went missing (this almost killed me) came home quivering on the horrible experiment. At 19 , he told me he did pot and I just had to get the fuck over it. I never really did, but I tried to be as open as I could with it.
I mean he worked everyday, paid rent and went to part time school.

My young son just did it all at once, and this landed him in the hospital for 6 weeks. He came out a different kid, a good one. but as Kid Kudo sings" You don't know about the night terrors, no you don't know about nothin" He still has night terrors.

I always tried to do little day trips with the kids, nature events...I tried my best to show them beauty and I also showed them hasting street at age 10, by age 12 I gave the sex talk. By age 15 the boys saw bits of the world with their dad.

I see now it doesn't matter if your kids can come from a good home or a bad home it doesn't matter..But if you don't talk to your kids today and show creative ways to sustain life..you are fucked, I see this in the school board..it is almost like kids are living a delusional life.

Kids today have allot of pressure, good grades are hard now, honours is a lotto ticket, university is now just based on honours and special priority. It leaves a kid feeling that they will never achieve to the greatest level. There is so much pressure on looks and having money.

I decided to write today about youth. Specifically to a group in Surrey BC.
A young gent died this past weekend. This was a boy who had a beautiful smile, was kind..he was a protector..The only person he did not protect was himself.

My family knew him since he was in grade 9. He was always at my house. He was the only kid who had a mad crush on me. As he became legal age and would be out, he would sometimes text me,asking me what I was doing and that he should come over..I would always laugh, and then when Id see him I would be harsh mother mode, to steer his thoughts. He would say, I may be young, but I could look after you.

I was considered the cool parent, I wasn't..the kids got away with more because I worked 3 jobs..I would often come home tired and sore and some kids thought I was pysco, yelling at my kids all the time-its tuff with two boys, I tell ya. I had to be the mom, the dad and the friend all in one.

After my kids moved out the young gent, at first texted me once a month to see if I needed anything, groceries..help anything..I would always say, you are sweet I am just fine.

Then I got a call, and he said "If I ever need to get away, you think I could come there?"
I asked if he was in trouble,he would joke it off and say gnaw, I'm good.

He called again and asked to come stay, I said I just didn't feel right about it, if my son was with me Id consider it..I could tell things were getting intense in his life. The drug life.

He was working hard and he seemed good on face book. He told me about his company he wanted to start.
This was before he started dealing and just going in the wrong direction.

He was 23 and he died. My heart is broken,.My heart is broken not only because of the family loss, his loss on life..but the loss my kids feel..and the kids who loved him.Grosner Kids, .and didn't know how to help or what to do.
 All you kids, you did what you thought was right...learn from it.

I did hear about the going on's of some of my kids childhood friends and it makes me angry.
I messaged them all today. Most of them.. There are 4 specifically I am concerned about. You know who you are and I am here if you need any guidance at all.

I remember you all, I love you all and I don't want to be at another funeral. Everyone of these kids has so much to live for, and there is so much of life they have not seen. Yes, you have to fight for it. I do not know if this post will make a difference in any one's life..but I have to try. I told everyone one of them I was sorry for their loss, I remembered them and care about them.

I was surprised at what I heard back...A young lad I used to babysit, I adored this kid..said, omg..I never thought you gave two shits about me..this means allot. The replies came in quick...I received a I love you too...

Some of these kids just relied on their friends, some lost parents..it was like the rat pack. Some just distanced themselves for whatever reason. I have always annoyed the shit out of my kids with calls, posts and showing up and demanding attention..and I think this is important. My kids will openly say "I love you" to anyone one of there friends, no matter how sucky it is, and I truly feel this is because me and their dad taught them this is right.The thing to remember is saying it enough and showing it are equally as important..because you may not get the chance to say it when you really wanted to.

Both my kids have been threw hell and back, but at the end of the day..one goes to the mountain..and one goes to the shores of Victoria Island, they see beauty..they think of what their plan is next and they suck life up and move onto the next day.

Depression is one of the silent killers..It kills our youth. What youth doesn't know, if there are a ton of programs in this world of freedom, one could do construction in other country's, school..training..you just have to research it..there is even a free mining program.. If you are under the age of 30, the world is your oyster. The world is not in Surrey.

Another friend of mine posted the loss of her child, this was a boy my kids played with at the ages of 5 to 12. he moved away and was a young man, over a call, my friend , the mom, was told he hung himself. No parent should have to bury their child. When I called my friend of 20 yrs...no time had passed...I was right there back in the trailer park as a young mum..having tea with Tammy..while Brenon, Abby , Dak n Zak played in the pit.

In this world of a recession..people are focused on wellness, you hear about diets, yoga ..You are probably thinking what a bunch of crap. The truth is, happiness is when you are in your predestine self..your body is a functioning tool.

Your mind is free of any thought. If you were to drink a massive cup of water, take tens deep breaths and sit and force yourself to only focus on breath, not a single thought in your mind for 10 mins,in the am and pm. this would be like a magic pill. This is why they started the Mindfulness program in elementary schools, the first time I saw the mindfulness program a kindergarten kid was picking his nose so intently and eating it, that clearly the only thought was the next booger.

Blaming your up bringing, or trauma you may have had in the past for your life and behaviors and depression is a old excuse to not get on with your life. It is living in the past, and what future is that?

when you are in your best form..your mind is sharp and you can creative the life you want. There is no solutions in a quick buck, material items...you will not take any of these things with you when you die.

If you understand death..you will understand life.

JM you will be missed more than you know...We all Loved you.
Mostly...To the Grosner Kids..Including Mine...
cherish your friendships and family...Make time...
In Life....If you don't ask...you will never know...Ask...


I am so sorry for your loss.

Remembering you JM

GVix Signing out..

3 comments:

  1. Laura, this is such an inspiring story.. I am a friend of T & M, and knew JM in his younger years, I used to look after him.. I have posted this to my timeline, and hopefully can reach out to my kids friends as well.. your words are so true.. may JM now be at peace.. RIP JM <3

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  2. This is so well written Laura.. I know T & M, and used to look after the boys when they were younger.. So sad to hear of JM's passing, and truly believe that he is now in a better place.. he is now in gods hands.. I have copied this to my timeline, as you and I have the same thoughts about the youth of today.. I am best friends with my kids friends also, and really try to reach out to them as much as possible.. R.I.P. JM.. <3

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  3. Thank you so much for your responses..I will be posting a follow up story on the celebrations and also some very candid confessions about drugs, this is not something that we do not discuss as many have said during the duration including my son, but rather opening discuss thease issues, to correct the problem and shape our youth for the men they need to be today.

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