Apr 22, 2013

The Wheels On The Bus Go Round N Round, Conversation Between Women.

Moon Shaped Ass: Definition: A round longueur shape, blending slightly into the thigh area, no hip definition and on a male species.

One tends to wonder what to do when on a crowded bus, sitting and the most ugliest ass crack tends to launch within your face. As the wheels on the bus go round and round..round n round.

Yup I texted to half a dozen friends during that episode. I think I would die if I had to take the bus everyday.
I was bus training a student, it was hot, stinky jammed packed. I was sitting, and wham! ass crack.
I got a slight whiff of dirty sock and ass crack in seconds. but then when I looked up I realized I had just had the interlude with "Pat" does anyone remember "Pat"

It was from Saturday night live, you didn't know if it was a female or male. It is funny how one such as I, can have such a compassionate heart for those with disabilities, deformities or mental blockages, yet can publicly speak about little inconstancy's in the world right?

It is called critical judgement actually, and I do it to myself all the time.

Bennett Vixen: Aaah the good ol' bus days - the loser cruiser - lol! I could write a novel on the bus-capades. Halitosis, farts that made the seats split, sleeping people who's heads would roll around coming dangerously close to your own, drunk barfers, fights, door kickers, nose pickers, spray sneezers, the B.O. pit in your face, stinky cheese feet, the list goes on....

I feel that given the right to criticize thyself, thou shalt have the right to criticize others, I mean if he actually turned around and apologized, I might have added,

 "this is a public forum, you should defiantly update yourself with the latest hygiene technologies of today, and I have indeed noticed you have a large fat ass for a male and should take up squats"...opps scratch that last bit there..

"Hi would you like my card? its called"Get Rad" and its a amazing health program in the evenings"
with survival techniques.

I mean after all it is survival of the fittest.

Instead I gagged a little as my student almost wet herself laughing.

Bennett Vixen: I used to also call the bus "the travelling flu capsule". I fondly remember those dark, rainy winter days when I waited patiently for the bus at Granville Burrard and Broadway. The UBC B-line was always as packed as a Tokyo subway - standing room only. Elbows in boobs, a pervy pinch here or there, coughing, gagging, sneezing, retching. Stench. The windows would always be steamed up - beads of germy condensation trickling down into the sills. Someone would always clear the window with their hand so they could see out. I miss those days.

The play Number 14, well that was indeed a hit and definitely described the Hastings bus in Vancouver, but there is nothing like the 99 B Line bus that barely stops and drives real fast for Moon Asses all over the world to whack you in the beck.

The worst is when everyone has to shuffle to the back when a baby stroller comes on, then your doomed. So is it normal for a bus driver to have smoke breaks? like in the middle of rush hour? The dude stopped on Broadway, got out, and smoked a half butt. The funny thing was he put his not operation digital signing on the screen. Meanwhile everyone is dying to get ff the bus and he stops and takes his fat ass (Anther more oddly shaped ass) off the bus!!

Does BC Ferry's yell"Pulling anchor for a 5 min smoke break?" WTF

I wonder if people fuck on the bus, now with my bio training it would be real interesting to take a blue light special and run that shit over the seats. Who has died on the bus? who cleans them large condensation vestals?

A married bus driver visual after today, abSoLutly must look like this: that looks just like the bus drier I had today!!
Bennett Vixen:Ya - shit!!! It was on the topic of dictator drivers and jackasses that try and come aboard with expired transfers or insufficient fare. The whole schedule gets thrown off because driver and dick head are in a pissing match. Inevitably ends in the d-bag uttering some colorful profanities, giving the driver the one finger salute, slowly prancing down the stairs and kicking the door on the way out. Collective intake of air from fellow passengers makes your ears pop.

Bennett Vixen: Then there's the time that you think you've successfully smuggled your Starbucks coffee aboard. You think you've successfully passed GO when your eyes meet the drivers in the rear view. His eyes narrow and you know the gig is up. He thrusts a stubby finger toward the "no food/no drink" sign. You have no choice but to disembark midway between stops. No where to sit, except curbside to finish your morning Joe. You breathe exhaust and get soaked from the spray of passing vehicles as the speed by through the puddles. Note to self - time to get a car!

The is not for me, but next time if I take the bus, I am going to say something. There is no reason why a person should have to travel like that, I mean a camel is probably more fun, at least you get off a little.

That's it for today's Adventure
GVix Signing off

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