Sep 7, 2009

Your Life, How would It look like, If you could Choose?




If you could choose your life, what would it look like?

Is the question at the end of this storey.




Midlife crisis for Men:


They say that men hit there midlife crisis around age 35 to 40, noticing a grey hair, loss of hair, other traits are stinginess..this is due to the fact they are starting to realize its time to have all the eggs in a row for retirement so forth. "He doesn't buy me flowers anymore"There's the guy that doesn't want to work at his marriage anymore..feels tired, and then start's to worry "Is this it" So they have a fling, or say well I just don't think I'm in love with you anymore.


Some men leave, go out and find a younger version of their wife, some go screw around realize hey I don't got it so bad, come back to a array of fighting and mistrust. When really what they should of said in the first place is-I'm bored, and UN excited and I feel old, and you have let yourself go to a fat cow, nagging bitch that is predictable to daily routine- lets try something new, do a overhaul on each other and go outside the box, and see if we can reconnect. This could mean meeting each other in a different destination, a overhaul of fitness and such..Its all very funny when I hear stories about failed marriages or relationships...where did we go wrong? I asked these questions to myself 2.5 years ago, had to take a hard look..and I tell you when I did I realized I was 30 lbs overweight, I was unhappy at work, unfulfilled in the bedroom, spending cash to fill a hole-picking apart my partner. My partner was pretty much doing the exact same thing.I threatened..get the fuck out..and 6 months later with no warning he did.

The first thing he did was date a 25 year old pot smoking bar waitress and post it all over the net..NICE then sent me naked pictures of his new hard body..and tried to have elicit sex with me..sending me dirty text messages, coarse Im no saint I left it open by sending smily emoticons ..or there was those 4 am drunk messages...sorry new girlfriend..Have to say I was hard to give up in the bedroom.


The first thing I did, After I actually got out of bed and realized they were going to come take the bed, and I needed to get into work mode, downsize and figure out what the fuck I was going to do...I joined a gym, left my neighbor hood, my little sis came over with at least 4 new designer bed settings..and told me to throw out any remains of the old..fuck in a new bed she said. I had a photo shoot..the catch was , I wore a evening gown with his pink Boy Ginch (That I bought him for Valentines day) peeking out from under the dress.

Then I joined a dating site I knew he was on.

I received over 50 text messages of why he was sorry, a letter, another request to see me, in a old email account I forgot to delete him from. After a year and a half I agreed to meet him for a date..Everything came rushing forward..the hurt , what he did..He did some very loser things I gotta tell you. 3 cosmopolitan martini's later, a blow job in his car and then a total mental breakdown..A day of WTF? and I'm good! Thank God I didn't go into a 2 year depression or something like that..I had done it alone before, so once I got over the fact it was over I knew I would be just fine.

I look back at all this, and think..how stupid was it all..He is stuck with our initials all up his forearm..actually he decided to keep those as a memory..When a split up first happens its funny how you only remember the good things..but he or she was this...yadda yadda yadda...Get the fuck over it! The guy was fucking OCD, and a True Asshole. There were many good traits, but when he would not donate 5 dollars to my pugs 3K operation fundraiser..you gotta understand this was his dog..I sent off the emails..his reply was..I'm buying a Car..OMG like who says that?
But you know, sometimes .we see beyond the small indifference's...or we appreciate them..and don't get me wrong, My X is a great guy..when he's happy in life and everything is going HIS way.

AbsoLutly....Koodo's to you mile long smile.xo


Midlife Crisis for women...


Well we go to a life coach..sometimes the life coach is hot...tells us, of our worth..then we bring it home and slam on their partner...talk to friends and co workers about what a dick their husband or boyfriend is, then they start getting advice that seems true to them. We "Find Ourselves"This could mean many things..A boy Toy...all of a sudden hikes to the largest mountain and travel aboard. New eduction...getting rid of materialistic items...Botox and Breasts

Going to a club and realizing...Why the fuck is everyone in here 12? and then seeing your 20 year old in the line up.


I did it all...fortunately for me..I met a millionaire friend who flew me to places, gave me spa treatments and structure to excel in life, and educated me on what I should be..(No their was no sex involved)If you put it out their how UN happy you are..your dreams Will come true.


So if I could define my life now, after all this crap I would stat..I'm pretty dam happy with my one career choice..although Id like to do it part time and be a recognized writer , have a column and have my business up and going full blast-In time Im sure..Id like to get up and actually be able to enjoy a morning..I hate mornings..this would entail..morning sex, which is temporally not available. A trip to the yoga studio...no time, and run on the beach with my dogs..I don't see a beach only bush form my front window...and then go to my office..which is non existent cureently

meet my special someone at the market, cook together and plan our adventure for the night...or do nothing.

Set up my boys..so they are good to go for a future..have a summer and winter getaway..even if it's in a time share or hotel and have a mainstay, fully owned home...no picket fence..I think Id like to get married believe it or not..

I wore a suit at age 18..up until now I always felt the dresses out there would give me a rash..I almost got married to my X...but it was a very futile attempt...With a fake diamond I might add...Hey we were poor!, and I wasn't picky-Now I am...!! I think the only reason I would like this is because of the Romanticism that comes with it...exchanging vows...and really being in love all that gushy stuff ..I lost allot of trust unfortunately..still working on that part. I am happy being single..I know that's really hard to believe..but its true, because I know now that meeting that special someone Will be a add on to a great life..not a need.

I don't think being rich or winning the lottery would make me very happy..Id have to go through all the life Ive gone through first..because this is how I define myself..and It s pretty darn spectacular.

I think that would make me pretty happy. Would love to hear any funny feedback on your Midlife Crisis, how you'd like to see your life? If you find you are really stuck..Ask me, I'm no specialist...but I'm a good ear.


GVixen

7 comments:

  1. I am a 43 year old man (call me Frank) who noticed recently that everyone he knew is in the middle of a midlife crisis. Someone (my mother), once told me that up to 35 life is like getting ready for and going to a party and after 35 life is like coming home from the party - this is absolutely true and if you aren’t ready to leave the party you have a problem. That’s where most of my friend's crises are coming from (you know the aging Lotharios)– 40something dudes with 20something women) - mine came from my own self denial that things weren’t going as planned – I got divorced at 33, no kids - so I went headlong into working like a dog and drinking like a fish - had some great experiences (I thought) - got caught with my face between a naked girls legs in the women's washroom at my local pub and was banned for life (as a guy we wear that one like a badge of honour - for a while anyways) - drank everywhere - puked most everywhere (in at least 8 different countries) and woke up at 40 with an impressive beer gut that actually hid Mr. Johnson from my own view (not as attractive as I make it sound), very shiny forehead - greyish beard - pretty good job - some solid friends (the other midlife crisis dudes) but no solid relationship with a good woman - I convinced myself that it was okay though – I was doin fine baby – had a car, owned my apartment, bought a boat (which I’m fully convinced is not my penis extension) – had a job that let me travel the world – obviously one does not need a woman to complete one’s identity!!!! I concluded that sex with older women (ie women my age) was the coolest thing on earth - women calm down in their late thirties – they know how to have an orgasm – don’t worry about and jiggling body parts during the act and finally really start to enjoy all aspects of the gig – so I went out and got me a number of 40(ish) mid-life crises women (they were all friends so there was no moral issue for me to reconcile) to join me in my own crisis hell and spent a couple of years convincing myself that one can have multiple relationships with women as long as we are all equally progressive and open – I had missed the point – I was broken and I was with broken women – no one notices when everyone is broken. And so life went on - not bad man – am 43, got a few hot babes a good job and can still get it up without Viagra (most of the time) - they think I’m cool (cuz I am and did I mention I have a boat?).
    And then one day SNAP my younger sister has a baby – a little girl and I can’t explain the feeling that comes over you when a tiny little 6 month old baby grabs you by one ear and what’s left of your hair and tries to kiss you on the cheek – everything changed after that – clarity finally – my purpose in life is not to satisfy my lust, it’s not to make money and have toys – it’s about my baby niece – don’t know why – but it is – I think it’s a primal thing but man its powerful and hit me completely by surprise – today, after a year of therapy, a change in job, a bigger boat (as I said it has nothing to do with my penis), and countless hours at the gym – I’m finally coming out the other side. I do know it’s not about my niece alone (but rather what she represents) – I do know that the party isn’t fully over but I am sipping wine in moderation now, and the days of public sex are likely over at least the acrobatic kind, and I do know that it’s going to be okay and that I made it to the other side. As for women – well I couldn’t get rid of all of them at the same time (remember 40 year-olds are smoking in bed) but I am whittling down the number and we talk like adults now who all realise that we are flawed – I think men and women need each other to gain perspective on the issue of midlife crisis – no use judging each other cuz we’re all screwed really (but in a nice way) and we all have so much to offer each other during the process– GVixen, you pretty much rule the roost here, loved your blog – it’s an important one – by the way I found your blog through your dating site profile.

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  3. OMG..I really dont know how to digest that comment, I can say..I am certainly not one of the 4o year old women you mingle with..sounds like a sick circle jerk. But I am flatter my post gave you some thought on your past and appreciate your comment in general..When I have time to process, I will comment in more detail

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  4. Thanks Gvixen (Frank here) - Your blog hit a chord with me - I have been in quite a reflective mood lately and your words came acroiss my screen at the right moment.
    Sorry to have offended - I did not mean for the comment to come across that way - I was probably a little too flippant. I look forward to the extended version of your comment -
    as I said we were all broken people who didnt realize it. The strange thing is we all became close friends and were all there to support each other - and we needed support- there are a lot of broken people out there that society likes judge negatively - out of the five women I was with three had serious eating disorders and all had body image issues that they were too ashamed to tell anyone about and I was able to convince one to get help but she has since stopped the counciling - its a very sad situation to experience and to be a part of. As I get my life together I am faced with the decision of how to change my relationship with this group in such a way as to to be able to maintain a friendship - in fact I have spoken to them already and have stopped the sex - which was/is hard. I do not however regret having met these women nor having had the sort of relationship we had. We humans are far from perfect and all we can do is try our best to make our lives make sense - I know that most people have probably lived more responsibly than I have and perhaps they are just smarter or more grown up than I am (and Im not feeling sorry for myself either). But its not like I had a choice - it started out with decisions I made when I was young and progressed from there. I am just happy that I hit the point in my early 40's where I started questioning who I was and where I was going and that I realized that it was neither healthy nor sustainable.

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  5. Well said..I am pretty simple minded-and in my heart pretty WHITE BREAD, as a friend whould say..meaning a family, picket fences and a trip once a year..and your first reply was just to complicated for me to comprehend..we all learn things new everyday, and that is why I write I suppose to learn about people and to share my funny experiances.I do not judge you by any means, please dont take it as such..People run in different circles, and thats ok..live life to the fullest and all will be well is my motto..put good things out in the universe and give back, and that is all you will need!
    Merry Christmas Frank
    xo

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  6. thanks GVixen - well said - Happy New Year

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  7. I never found out who frank was..hmm

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