So today..I am writing about a average day.
I went this morning to pay a portion of my very overdue rent, from my next to nothing pay cheque. This was partial contract work over spring break, still waiting on all my over due pay. I still wonder how I manage to live like this and that something grand is awaiting around the corner.
I knocked on my landlords door. I stood nervously with a thank you card, for patience with a package of flower seeds, and half my rent, in hopes that I would not be evicted, no answer. I just had to have today go well, because after a long 7 months, I was going to finally see my grandson for a visit.
I heard many voices in the back. I went around the back, my landlord and 20 other Indian ladies were in the garage, deep fryers going..bandannas on covered in batter.
It was a party, getting ready for free food traditions on Main Street- I apologized about the late payment and left with 20 Rodi, this is bread battered with herbs then deep fried.
My landlady said, "we do not accept money on Vaishakhio, do you want to pay tomorrow?"
I just wanted them to have the money, so I said no.
They did not care , they wanted me to stay, feast n have fun.
There have been many moments where I wanted to just rage at the noise up stairs my apartment. Things could be worse. Instead of a tradition family gathering for feast, tradition n dance.. I could have drug dealers domestic abuse or worse, gangsters.
One elder Indian lady,said, "no go today- day of no work- you are too thin, please let me serve now".
This kind of set a emotional tailspin in my eyes. They are probably all relatives. I know that if I don't experience this type of family life again in my lifetime, I will have someone special to experience it with.
But at that moment, I felt completely alone.
After deep breaths I made my way to Abbostford. I had a great time with my grandson..but left with a sinking feeling.
In the evening, I knew that my old team of staff had planned a dinner at a quaint restaurant called Havana on Commercial drive. I put on a dress and went to meet my old team of men. To my surprise the entire team was there including my little Filipino Mommasita.
My position was never filled. It has been two years almost. The team was split up, the residents dispersed.
It was really hard on everyone after functioning in amazing team for over 6 years. This group always encouraged me to reach for the top, they respect me and are my family.
They were all shocked to see me in a dress with makeup on, and made banter about it the entire time, which made me laugh allot. Laughter is good for the soul.They all flirted, and I blushed feeling beautiful.
Later in the evening I decided to put away my 6 loads of laundry from the laundromat and have Julia and Julia playing in the back ground.
The pictures of Julia child in Paris and the smoky yellow bistro rooms and art ..it soothes me.
The fact that she cooked till noon, make love to her husband, then went back to class, came home and prepared feasts for guests..seemed delightful.. because, she was living her passion.
I defrosted all the butternut squash and pumpkin in the freezer and made a spicy puree squash soup for the week with a chicken base- really really good.
If I think about all things I don't have time to do , it upsets me, so I do a bit when I can.
like cooking good food, painting..designing, writing..gardening
Sometimes I can't wait to get home, put my pj's on and just putter in whatever. Most of the time, I find it effort to put on makeup and go out and socialize because I am happy doing projects, yet distraught they are still sitting there.
I remember a time with my kids when I was so stressed I felt the world would end, we would end up homeless, I would die alone..the list goes on. One thing I can say, I don't stress about so much, I move ahead in a methodical way..I am tired thou. It is almost as though I have accepted my life, as is.
The truth is I haven't accepted this way of living, and slowly but surely my feeling of this will pass.
GVix Signing off
On A Average Day