Sex Politics and Logistics...
Dating in Vancouver can be pretty tuff beans on a women, as I have talked about for the last 10 years.
You never know if your going to be stuck with the bill, asked to do "Dutch" Pay half or if the man has 5 other dates lined up for the week.
You get pretty daunted with hopelessness, and fear that you may be alone forever. Is he into you? or is he waiting for the next best thing?
Did he actually pursue you? Now there's a question. That means did he see you and make a attempt to date you? cause this is pretty dam grey in Vancouver. This means, you did nothing. You did not hit him up on chat, you did not find him among your friends, your friends did not pressure him to meet you or you meet him, He actively sought ways to try and date you.
Sometimes we date our friends, and realise all the reasons why you were only friends in the first place, and maybe that taboo thing you did, like sleep with him was not such a good idea, like a year later. Sometimes it is.
Well I did have a man pursue me in April, this happened in my life, and I was completely not interested. I met him at a function with several other married men, and left the event thinking to myself this was the best time and company I have had in a long time. I was at a table with educated, gentlemen of value and worth for a benefit. I had intellectual discussion's and heard hilarious stories.
A month later, a co-worker requested I see her, peer actually. She said that a gentleman from that night really wanted to take me to dinner.
It is really out of character for me to let my walls down and just go with it.
for starters I was a little intimidated by his title in society, and my first idea was, what on earth would this man have in common with me, and further more what would I have in common with him?
I had met him once. He gave a speech at a fundraiser.
When I agreed to meet up a few months later, it wasn't even the same guy.
I guess he had a few trainers and had been on a massive over haul of his life. In two months, he was all of a sudden divorced, fit, tanned and training for a marathon.
I was intrigued.
It is now 6 months later and I still get butterflies on when I'm going to see him next. So he stepped into the new millennium and had sex before marriage, with me..90 days after courtship.
That's right folks, you heard me correctly. For 3 months the heavy petting was like a grade 8 horror movie. "Why?" one might ask, well it certainly was not my doing. The only thing I could do was get to know the man. I realized I really liked him. There are many reasons why, but it really is not important.
This week, the discussion was about questions. "Out of the 5 states, which one would you go to?" Utah, West Virginia, New Hampton, Alabama or north Dakota?I picked Alabama and West Virginia
I know nothing about those, so I picked Alabama and West Virginia- The hottest possible
I said out of the 5 Canadian places, ...
Montreal, Winnipeg, Nova Scotia, Ottawa, Yellowknife, which two? He picked Nova Scotia and Montreal.
Then the question was , if you could ask God 3 questions what would they be?
I said; "why are humans so horrible?" to the planet, animals, people...destruction.
" Will I be OK? will my family be OK?"
" Will there be another ice-age? cause extinction is happening huge.
His were: How do I know that you (God) loves me? Like will there be a sign?
How am I able to understand that god has his hand on certain people?
Why is the world so broken?
These are the discussions we have, and then we decide.. that I will take him to two Canadian destinations and he will take me to two USA destinations, and on the discussion of god.. we realize again that we are only human, and cannot have these answered specifically, but we can do something small to find answers within ourselves..
The relationship is working, and I don't know why its working- but it is, I bring out something in him he never knew existed, and he brings out something in me I needed for a very long time.
What I think is crazy about this relationship, is I have never once analyzed this relationship. I think every one for the last 20 years I have analyzed and picked apart, I actually don't even think about it.
We just plan our next set of events and do it. When he goes home or I do, I don't think "oh I wonder what he thought of that, or I hope this and that" I don't worry about a phone call or what he is doing.
There is nothing. It is, just what it is. With a certain status in society, comes community, faith and several other things. complexity I guess. I am learning how this all works. For starters I never voted for several years, however I did vote for Harper to be gone. I never really knew about the American constitution, or the politics of my own country.
Then I was challenged on why I should vote, which then in turn went onto topics such all what has come to now in BC, and I really feel I have a more personal understanding, to be frank, politics were never my strong suit, and quite honestly I had very little education on politics.
Because I am kind of a hippy, and really felt it was all about money and no one was going to change anything.. and sure it is about money, but when you have not had a raise in 4 years, and the economy is the worst its ever been, you start to think that even one more vote will make a difference.
I am learning about things I never put much thought to before, and also that most things I do should have purpose. Other wise we are just floating...
I floated for a long time, paying bills raising kids and never gave my life or myself or my kids the meaning of purpose. This is how I feel anyway. I discussed the importance of money and looking after ones self, but what I regret most is those discussion of making your purpose and making a difference in the world as a whole. Except for recycling, that was always huge on the household duties.
Sometimes I think to myself, am I "simple minded". But no..that is not the word that the man I am dating, said I was..
You are a survivor, aren't you?
I guess I am.
Gvixen signing off