Yes I sold all my stuff, Yes I lived rent free in the US..
During the summer, school staff typically collect unemployment insurance and work odd jobs declaring earnings. My plan was to work like a dog and pay off debt and save.
Well I worked for one month for Canada Post, got injured and was denied WCB or Postal Support- What a Joke.
I did vacation, which was the first in 5 years, I vacationed with zero money- yes it is possible. My Unemployment did not kick in till August ( Great Government System We have here)
I sold items in a US consignment store and lived off some of the earnings, I cashed in my dwindling Canada Bonds.I clearly did not think this threw.
OK...So September came, and the plan was to continue my 6 months in Hopkins...that did not pan out either. I calculated cost of parking in horseshoe bay. The daily ferry cost. The crazy playboy I'd be rooming with, and good thing I did, no work available till mid September...Sign...
I reunited with a old co-worker and she needed a car, I needed a place.. She bought the car covering my first months rent and damage. My final destination is...
CHILLIWACK! Not entirely rent free, but a quarter of the cost, of typical rent in Vancouver. Close to the boarder still.
Life is still figuring itself out for me....
I am now commuting to Vancouver..and the tally is...toll cost 161 month, gas cost...350...hmmm
there is also living with a unfamiliar roommate thrown into the mix..sleeping on a air mattress..
Do I have full time work? The VSB seems to call full time work 20 hrs a week..Sigh..
Although I legally cannot talk about my work..I have so say that in all my years experience I finally feel challenged and respected in my field of work..I also realize, sometimes you can't save everybody and if things are affecting your health its time to throw in the towel.
Chilliwack BC is covered by mountains and I love the fact there is zero traffic congestion. The ideal thing to have would be to find a choice of work here- so the only latest news is, I am looking, and looking hard.
Due to the current level of work I am doing at a School/ Hospital..I don't even have time to look good.
Sometimes I wear the same outfit two days in a row, zero makeup..hair in a bun, I come home and fall into a 1.5 hour power nap. The truth is, working and living in Van- took a 45 min drive, working and living in Delta took a 1hr drive, working and living in the US took a 1.3 hr drive, now its a 2 hour drive with traffic. How awesome would it be to walk to work, run in the morning..oh right, Canada Post fucked up my feet, ..OK do Yoga in the morning? Be off by 4pm and go to a gym, cook dinner..maybe paint?
Its like some distance dream. SQUIRREL
I get up at 5am, arrive at work at 8am, work till 330, get home at 5pm, nap till 630pm, eat a snack, clean the house, pet the cat, try to make a 745 relaxation Yoga class, try to do some paper work..for work..bed by 10pm. Then there's the recent boyfriend, the American..who I get to see...Saturdays.
Except this week he surprised me and came here to buy me ice cream, I was in such a funk, I was probably like a hag.
I'm pissed off. I am not just pissed off at this situation, I am pissed off at the political bullshit in my work..I am pissed off Sea World still has Orca's in captivity, I am pissed off there are lost girls in china, I am pissed off that I cant make a difference...I am pissed off my mom is sick, I am pissed off I don't vacation with my boys..
The furthest thing from my mind is spending 2-4 hours on getting ready for date, talking about the latest guy, buying the latest shit, or eating at the latest 5 star restaurant, or what you didn't do on your restful days of vacationing. If you are not doing something with your life, don't talk to me, because I'll probably say the WRONG thing right now.
I think this all stems from having to put yourself in the field of something you have no control over.... and it literally breaking your heart...
And seeing all/or little of what you have, and realizing someone has way less.
So next time you post your latest 30 dollar Fake nails, give a fucking buck or two to a charity would ya? better yet, your old nail polish to the women shelter, two cans of food to a food bank.
I like a good nail and hairdo, spa day (whens the last time I had that? oh right 2007) and makeover..like once a year.
I am so tired, but the truth is, if I had a life of not working like a dog, I would be working or doing charity or volunteering to be tired like a dog anyway..what is wrong with me? If you have ever had kids, or had to care for someone other than yourself..you would get it..that includes elderly parents, other peoples kids...
We are parents, nanny's, caregivers...and when we leave..we move onto world work..some do anyway.
I don't feel quality of life right now in my current situation, I don't feel like I'm making a difference, I don't feel active and healthy, I feel like no one in my circle gets it. I have a handful that do, and I know that if I was present in their life as much as I wanted, or could be, I would be healthier than where I am right now.
yeah..I get it Ann Bradford....
So what am I doing about it? I have started the process of moving into another district..Surrey, Abbotsford..Chilliwack..I have hit up my contacts on Linked In..
I have made myself somewhat unavailable during this stressful time..inward time. I have only shared the negative energy with people who are grounded, can take it, and give solid advice.
I have gone to meditation and relaxing yoga..Although I am wondering if Oxygen Yoga should really have Yin, Meditation..here in Chilliwack, The last instructor was a complete moron.
There was nothing relaxing about Pilate's lunges and a confused teacher in placement of hands and feet. 4 people sat out- I unfortunately sat threw the stupid process giving the women the death look.
The worst part of it was, typically on Thanksgiving the piece read aloud, should be about gratitude and thankfulness right? Her piece was about things being difficult that she read from her personal journal,..well she had all of my negative energy from across the room. During Shasta, she certainly was not getting all my love and peace..she was getting the turtle head out my ass from the stressful awkward poses that made no sense, and I know they didn't because I went with a gymnast. I said to my friend was I wrong in thinking that was totally confusing? She said "Hell no, she had no idea what she was doing" and then mimicked her to give us both gut wrenching belly laughs.
The highlights: Well my love life is good, I'm dating Mr Political Himself- which I cant talk about also..so moving on
My mother still has her comedic wits about her while in the hospital, today I got a random text that Saint Paul's carries toilet paper from Russia, cause it makes her ass bleed.
The day before she feels the Filipino workers are deprived or something because they stole all her yogurt, that was labeled from the fridge and one repeatably goes threw people drawers in the night shift.
MarTin the cat is back with me and is as crazy as ever..which really means he's happy, so that's good.
BTW, I need a small couch or love seat, for free- preferable one that folds out and can be delivered
PM me if anyone has a decent one. I am currently using lawn furniture.
I feel tired and overwhelmed...so I'm going to attract that? Fantastic
I do imagine allot! Like leaving Canada, starting over, attempting to be a professional student internationally, or working abroad somewhere.
Buddha is not really working his magic tonight..LOL
I recently told someone they angered me deeply internally every time we spoke, so therefore I could not accept texts or calls anymore. I' m at a time in my life where I feel like , its now, this is the rest of my life and I have to make the most of it, and anything or anyone that does not have a positive effect on me should just simply be removed, and I really don't need to give a reason of why.
So even thou I am extremely frustrated right now, it will improve and probably change in ways I never thought possible, if I did not move to the states and actually be poor with no work, I would of not had that restful time..I would have missed out on allot of rest and enjoyment. It was hard struggling the expenses I did have in Canada, and I am still catching up..but I probably needed the time off...I probably need a year off. Thanks LB xox
If you are frustrated, fix it. Move on. Tomorrow is a new day:)
GVixen Signing Off