Oct 2, 2013

I am 3

A wise soul said, you are 3 things...Brahma Vishnu Mahesh
The creator the preserver and the destroyer, you will continually change, like a wave.
or..the cycle will repeat...you will create, preserve then destroy

There are three forces: Brahma shakti, Vishnu shakti, and Shiva shakti. You may have one of these predominant. Brahma shakti is the force to create something new. Vishnu shakti is maintenance and Shiva shakti is bringing in transformation, filling in life, or destroying.
Some of you have Brahma shakti. You may create well, but you may not be able to maintain. For example, you may make friends very fast, but it does not last long.
There are others who cannot create but are good at maintaining. For example, people have long lasting friendships but cannot make any new friends. In such cases, Vishnu shakti is dominant.
And then there are others who have more of Shiva shakti. They bring in new life or transformation or they can destroy the whole set up.

A monk a long time ago placed the 3 necklaces around me and said" You are 3", one around my neck two around my wrists, it has baffled me for years, so I just randomly asked my guru..and there is was..and never more true. So now I know, and can accept this about myself as a positive..I have brought many new life transformation, and I have destroyed my life, many times over to start a new transformation.

This can be perceived in many ways, moving onto he next phase..or just continually repeating the situation over and over.
The visit with my Guru was quite funny. He has inherited the gift, the funny part is it takes about 5 shots of 100% of pure Indian rum, I took one shot-that was a mistake.
Apparently the people come, ( The people in his head) and the rest of his mind shuts off..I know it sounds very hooky, but the first time I was so uncomfortable I left a birthday party. This time, it was in full effect. The house was lit with candles, the Ganesha god was surrounded with candles, if you don't know what Ganesha god is, let me explain:

Ganesha is widely revered as the remover of obstacles, the patron of arts and sciences and the Deva of intellect and wisdom. As the god of beginnings, he is honored at the start of rituals and ceremonies. This is the statue that has a elephants head.


First it is required to fill your tummy with good food, and discuss things that are of no relation to your inner questions. I actually did not plan for this reading, this was just a nice visit with my friend, he must of sensed I needed some clarity. We talked about what had been going on, while he repeatable took iPhone shots of his palm and sent them to a ancient fortune teller in India, this only cost 11,000K..lol
As we enjoyed the surroundings of his house, and smoked beetle cigarettes- these make your tongue numb. There is no drug substance or nicotine in these little things, but actually I had a horrible vision of a dirty peddler rolling it in the streets of Indian, after I realized they tasted like dirt or dung. I tried it and decided maybe this isn't the wisest choice.

My Guru grabbed my palm suddenly and started talking.".they are saying, wait, wait for it.." you are not at peace" at this point in the evening my guru was still quite sober, so he remembered this part, and said-"did you get that?|" I said "yeah, Great, they said I'm not at peace". We then moved inside and sat beside one another while he held my palm and swigged the drink, then he wanted me to close my eyes and breath, when he pinched my thumb, that was when I was to exhale..well this did not go over very well, I tried ten times and it was apparently not right, then wide eyed he said loudly "you don't know, you don't know, if that, then this", he said it over and over," if that, then this".

"You don't know how to be at peace, and your entire life it has been , if I do thi,s that will come, and then you reach a goal, then its something else but you are still not at peace", then he squinted his eyes and said over and over "Judgement, Judgement Judgement"
Then it was silent, I wanted at that moment to run out.

He touched a few pressure points, behind my ear, my lower ass..I said "this is your ploy to pick up chicks, isn't it?" he laughed and said I have plenty of chicks, and then said however that is not the issue, the issue is all this pain in your body. He hit more pressure points all in my neck, shoulders, normally when a friend or someone rubs these spots they feel better, I was in excruciating pain.  He said you need some serious work here. I know this, backs out, among other things, I have no medical. ugh.

He took another swig..and said," trust trust..they are telling me at age 8 you got lost in a mall, I am aware you want to go to India with me..."
"32 was a very big and hard year for you", I stopped breathing, he said" more...".it actually got to the point the guru grabbed me and had me breath in rhythm with his chest, as my air seems to be caught. This was very uncomfortable for me, I have never been attracted to Indian men, however my friend the guru is quite athletic (A Olympic athlete  actually) with very warm eyes, extremely Canadian and kind, so at this point I had to leave, there was allot of repressed shit in there. He said, "You are also holding back passion, do you not have anyone to fill this need?, friends with benefits? I was shocked, I said  well..no, he said why? don't tell me you want to get married, I said no I deserve better, I have tried that path its not for me. This area he actually seemed a little lost in my answer..which was, "In the end of it all what do I benefit from it?" I still go home alone, I still have no one to share my daily life with...and it is like being taken with no reward or a whole five minute reward and then the party's over"

He did say I need relationships in my life, this is what I thrive on.

He opened the door. After awhile..he seemed to come back to sobriety, the alcohol doesn't really effect him..it seems, he said that the biggest part of me to be whole is to surround myself with people that make me happy and I had not been doing this.
He pointed out he had many people who could help me and that this will all be a turning point in my life.


For 10 minutes, as the guru was talking, to whoever was speaking...a clear calm voice came and said yet again..you were 8 yrs old and were lost-there is more to the story which really is insignificant in this blog post..I was shocked he said it.
I will have many loves, but true love wont come for several years-this is heartbreaking and I refuse to believe it. I am not to eat meat for 5 Mondays, this baffled me, however another spiritualist said this is a cleaning.
my business will be a huge success, however sacrifice is needed and I am to start living life.
I am to find what I need to live on and only use that and live life, so that the rest is free to flow as energy.
I was given several things to do
plan a shorter week, no meat for 5 Mondays, do a 3 year plan on my business.
surround myself with his network..
My website needs to be simpler
so here we begin.


This third force of “center” and “balance” is the number Three, the AOUM sound, chanted by Eastern mystics. The AOUM symbol is shaped like the number Three itself—as scholars say—denoting the balance of opposites: -

So after this meeting, at 630 am,  24hrs later I was violently ill, sweats and diarrhea..the night before I had gone to a clients house and they offered pizza, I did a good workout and was hungry..forgetting no meat, I ate two pieces. At 2pm I lost out on a deal for a 2nd vehicle and was emotionally pretty distraught, then at 3 pm I vomited, not your average vomit..sick to the stomach vomit. I then went to bed, and for two hours felt better, at 6 pm fever and my dinner came up. I honestly cannot remember the last time I vomited from a bug.
So either I have a bad flu or its because I ate the meat.

My estranged roommate rolled in at 11:00 pm, I had texted him, forewarned I have the flu..I saw him hovering around his vehicle, so I came out and said " everything OK?" he said " No can you open the door?"..now bear in mind I am expecting the worse due to last nights drama, where he slammed cupboards, sighing repeatably and groaning till I finally said "Ghesh, are you OK or what?", he tore off his shirt to show me his Chinese bubble sores from Chinese medicine and acupuncture.. I said "oh you got that done"..loll
He said "yeah I got lower back pain" , I said," Ewe I would never get that done..loll" , He said" I cant believe you would dismiss 10 years of historical medicine", I said "No, it just doesn't work for me, and its to raise toxins not help back pain."

Now I could be very wrong here, and that may be so..I just think its a huge expense that has little results. its like a bread yeast band aid your mother puts on a boil, except you pay 2k for it.

Anyways in the doorway he says me having the flu is a huge issue and he may go stay somewhere else-
then says ," Now Ill just go straight to my room." He walks by me like I am a total plague, goes in the bathroom for two hours and does his ritual which I can only assume is nose hair pulling, coughing up plhem and rubbing his chest hairs madly in the shower do to the morning carpet I find everyday. I think he gives himself enema's in there..like what else would he be doing???/

My roommate is a nice man, kind man, don't get me wrong, there are just some oddities one cannot deal with, I am dealing as best I can.

I am now stoned on flu medicine and must retire..please enjoy my absence while you can :P
Got that from a crazy sista from another..love it
GVix Signing out

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