May 5, 2013

What is Real?

 "What is REAL?"asked the Rabbit one day,when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender,before NaNa came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse, "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child Love's you for a long, long time, not just to play with you, but Really Love's you, then you become REAL."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful,"When you are Real you don't mind being hurt"



We all know the saying.
I decided to write this blog today due to some small insignificant events that happened last year and are still trickling into my current life. This relates to owning ones shit.

The story goes something like this:
Boy meets girl, great dates. Girl does not hear from boy
boy is missing in action. Smart girl looks at the red flags..
boy talks about X Girl, depression..lack of work.
Girl calls the kettle black, and dumps boy.

Later on, girl becomes friends with X dating partner boy, and also finds that
the girl that, the boy was originally in love with has amazing qualities, is a great mother and has some real talent in areas Girl wants to know. They become friends. This was after a whole whack of immature shit ..
Just A Girl..just always wants to keep the peace.

In the meantime, X Boyfriend has cleaned all his baggage in relation with secrets..and has put in his dues on friendship- with Just a girl.

Just a girl, goes back on dating field..making sure to keep the profile as real as it gets, moving away from males that discuss issues in their lives, past relations-or other relations that are tell tale red flags.

Then, Girl sees a amazing artist who was also mixed in the relationship tangle from previous. Girl likes this persons face, and messages him. " Your Fab! I love your Art!"
As the story un folds of common relations with two original people,
it seems neither of these people can own their shit.

A girl dated A boy, the boy cheated on her with his X, his X had new relationships, but hence went back to the original boy on occasion- thus creating a circle fuck cluster.

When Just A Girl, pointed out the shit, she was dismissed..LOL funny.

The thing is.. The original talented girl, we will call her Red..
Is a young vibrant women who has every right to do as she pleases, she has no ring on her finger, she is not bound to any specific relationship.

I am not sure if she admits her relationships to all that is involved or not, but really who the fuck cares.
I do know that when the 3 now people involved ask, I am honest.
I do know that if someone starts telling me how depressing their life is, what medications they are on, I can only say.. You have the power to change it.

I am not a psychiatric nurse..and am not looking to counsel my next date.
I have had allot of my own personal baggage, I do know a few things, I don't give up, I am thank full for what I have, I don't believe in medication- unless it is in the form of the sun, earth and mountains.
I own my shit..and sometimes it is hard to hear.

I think this whole circle of people is hilarious, and quite frankly good riddance of my life.

I do know my relationship with special K has proven to be solid, and that he owns his shit, weather its fabricated or not- he defiantly has come clean. Unless hes mad and going through a anxiety attack, then you may find your self on planet alien with delusions and ill rooted words, but he always comes down again to the earth.

He asked me what I said to the attractive artist I saw on POF who was indeed involved in the circle jerk.

I said that I basically said that we were all once upon a time, in a cluster fuck.- In past..
I mean all this is over two years ago, and I cannot believe I allowed myself to bring it up again.

Then the artist admitted his troubles, requested to be my friend on Facebook, then told me about his current hardships.

Ghezz man, I just wanted to buy art, compliment that I thought you were great. When it goes into his personal shit, I lightly stated.." I am hearing allot of negative" "how about we chat another time"
He deletes me..LOL and Red deletes me to..

Good god own your shit!!

Anyone who gets involved with Red, is whine whine..I'm still in love with.. good god, if she is not there for ya, get the fuck over it. Wallow in your shit and you will bring the god dam self pity train for the rest of your life, and as Special K once said, soon I will be in the bar down the street at age 50, on the bar stool by the other 50 yr old guy. I will know I am old.

Don't put that in the god dam universe!

I do not think he has this philosophy, so much anymore, but who knows. I don't ask Special K too much about his private life anymore, and quite frankly, I find this all a bunch of shit drama.

This pisses me off because, I see amazing people with talent and fear of taking risks in life, doing nothing.
Like this amazing artist, who I intend to do a full story on his amazing work on Vancouver's Voice.
He has a nice face, A warm welcoming face, I would never ever assume that that picture would have such meaningless sadness. People are starving, the world is being destroyed, our oceans are depleting. Fighting with a X spouse? fix your shit, make peace, cause really..is that going to help your children.
Sad with being hurt, dumped, cheated on..don't let it happen again..re-invent yourself!
I am saying this in general to all people, not just the artist, which doesn't quite go in that order.

I have been in the exact same place as Red, single parent, doing anything to receive help from what I thought was friends  survival of the fittest, it is not fun, what's even worse is when you had past relations with them and they think if they help you your feelings will change. For me, I never had a situation quite like that.
However I do recall borrowing money that I simply could not pay back. This comes back to you, if you fell for helping and you put yourself in that place, blame yourself.

We all create our own paths in life...You can think...why was I with this women? what was I looking for?
If you are not 100% good with you, I guarantee the relationship will be something you have created for the meantime.

People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime
when you know which one it is you will know what to do for that person

when someone is in your life for a Reason:
 it is usually to meet a need you have expressed
They have to come to assist that need, subconsciously, or expressed and to provide you with guidance and support.To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They are there for that Reason you need them to be
Then without any wrong doing or inconvenient time,
The person will do something or say something to end the relationship
Sometimes they walk away, they die..
sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand for what you feel is real
What we must realize is our need has been met, our desire fulfilled
the work is done and we must move on.


Sometimes people come into your life for a Season, because your turn has come to grow or and always share.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
believe it, for it is real, but only for a season.

If it were for a Lifetime...
we would not be having the conversation of Reason...

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation
your job is to accept the lesson
Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life
It is said that love is blind and friendship is clairvoyant

Word Out
GVix












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