Feb 13, 2013

Daily GVixen Colum-Valentines Day


Vancouver’s Voice
Valentines Special-February 2013
Pantie Revenge
GVixen
In 2007 I was dumped by a post it note..A year of physical education really helped the good old self esteem. I eventually did get out of the basement and on one rainy day, going threw past n old I came across a pair of pink boy cut panties, designer by American Apparel- they were  a pair of underwear I had given my X on one of the past valentine’s days. He never wore them for me and in fact didn’t quite fill them out anyway. I had already made my mark in the Internet  blog biz, and decided there would be nothing better to have a glamorous photo shoot of the new improved GVixen,,the catch? The picture would be every wear, with the briefs pinking out of the dress as a clear FUCK YOU.  I then had a order put threw for those panties, now 12 pairs are mine, in my size. I am happy to say I now own a signature pantie. I wear them with pride every valentines day.

Ladies, always have class..and when you can't declare temporary insanity”
Pantie Revenge
More stories:
Worse Date Ever…………
Women Unite…………
More VValentine's Chat…
In other news …
If you would like to submit a story for publication, please email me at gvixen23@gmail.com
I will be accepting stories till the end of February and update this blog as they come in.

Worst Date Ever Story 1



So just having getting out of a dreadful three year relationship with the next "real" slim shady. I decided it wouldn't hurt to take EVERY ONE'S advice and join the ONLY new age way of meeting men....a dating site! Dun dun dun!

So I started off by picking a user name, not a "iwanttosuculongtime12" or "skinnyblonde66" but I played it very suave....I used my last name and my birth year! Woohoo I should be expecting my prize for smartest girl on dating site anytime soon! Oh hold on a minute phones ringing! It's a lady asking for my credit card number! Yay! I won a cruise! -_-

But seriously no harm could come from it....right? That was until the creepers, the Persian perv's, and the 18 year old's started finding me on Facebook!

My cover of being Daria the taking a year off to find myself elementary school teacher was blown...thank god they couldn't look at my profile eeeep! So after all the friend requests I decided it was time to take it off...that was of course until a tall, tanned, green eyed welding apprentice named "JUSTmike" started messaging me.

Why helloooo....I may or may not have thrown in a ;) with that embarrassing introduction but hey it worked! I had his full attention he even liked my name! Daria....oh how he typed it so smooth so sexy so not my name....but I couldn't break it to him I just let him believe.

After two weeks of chatting we finally got a little more comfortable and turns out the 6'5 ft handsome lived only three blocks away from me! Being a 21 year old college student this made me very anxious To meet this guy and go out for coffee!

But he had bigger plans, he asked me to go for a movie but because it was January and cold I would have to pick him up because he lent his truck to his dad (awe nice guy, I didn't even bother telling him I didn't have a vehicle, I'd just borrow my girlfriends truck. No biggy) so off I went on my very first kind of a blind date with my big ol lovable husky that is my defense mechanism if anyone asks...he would most likely drool you to death, We were going to see Underworld! Cause what girl doesn't want to see vampires and werewolves kill each other....waaaay before twilight and not so cutesy wutesy. A lot more talent. I got my friends truck, I even got the mom talk "don't crash my vehicle, or get a ticket or I'll never let you borrow it again!-she's so funny)

As I'm driving up to the top of our meeting spot I can see him in the distance....shit is he tall! I say to myself...look in the rear view morrow if any things on my face...nope. Good to go! I'm pulling in to the parking lot and...hey that's weird red & blue lights behind me! Yup getting pulled over In front of my date. I'm surprised he even got in the vehicle. The first thing I say is "way to make this look like a drug deal" and he responds with "did you seriously just get pulled over In front of me?"

 I'm scattering around looking for registration---yay found it! And the tap on my window starts. I roll it down and the nice handsome mature officer asks me if I know why I got pulled over. Don't know, don't care you can Frisk me anyway! ---I didn't really say that I just nodded yes and said no to even look like a bigger idiot. To top it off my dog decides to lean out my window and sniff.

The cop backing away with his hand on his gun mind you asks for my license and the other good stuff. "that's awesome" officer hunny buns says. Confused I smile and he says "we share the same birthday". "yay! (I yell) I never met anyone with the same birthday as me!" Biggest lie ever, I know my sisters husbands niece has MY birthday. (I can't go for jail for lying can I?)

He Walks back to his sneaky mobile, the one where you know it's a cop during the day but at night any things game. Why reduce speed.

So JUST mike is laughing about the incident. and I just remembered I had weed in my purse! Uh oh! I throw my purse in the back seat and look casual because clearly I looked like someone on crack ten seconds ago? And hunny buns returns and he let's me know that I'm not Brandie the owner of this vehicle or registered to it(thanks! I'm not Daria either!) and so I need to park the truck and go home.

He isn't giving me a ticket (wink----wtf does wink mean?) With that being said he decides to give me my license back with saying "so Robyn, If you ever don't feel like driving in bicycle lanes here's my card and I took the liberty of writing my cell # on the back...call me sometime" I smile and say sure will. As I begin to drive away just mike starts throwing a hissy fit. "did you just get picked up by a cop?" I don't know....I've never even been pulled over before! "do you like him?" he puts his hand on the dashboard. Do I like him? I like that he didn't give me a ticket! I laugh. He didn't laugh.

"so your names Robyn? I don't like that name...a girl in elementary stole my backpack named Robyn" you've got to be shitting me...."Well just mike I can assure you that 5 year old Robyn must not have been thinking too clearly, her or Robyn's everywhere.

Would like to apologize. We are not backpack stealer's!" not accepted clearly. He said he wanted to go right home! Fine by me....this date has been exhausting pffft! We drive up to his house and before he gets out he tells me I'm a liar (well c'mon buddy it's a dating site I didn't take it too seriously why could you be like the pervy Persian and just find out my real identity on fb!) and also that he didn't have a vehicle he got a DUI and that he lied! Also my dogs dumb! I rev the engine "get the f*^4 out you don't dis my dog! My dogs awesome. So I go home, do the homework I should have been doing to begin with instead of going on adventures with strangers and I get a message from JUSTmike! Poor guy left his wallet in brandies truck!

Yay -_- so I tell Brandie to deliver this wallet to his house and turns out they hit it off right then and there that they even had a friendly sleep over! Worst date of my life!

Worst Date Story 2



Here is my date from hell! LOL.

I was newly dating a guy and we were not yet at the farting stage. We were both on our best behaviour still. One night, he decided he wanted to bring me to meet two of his closest friends (another couple). We went over to their place for dinner and afterwards we decided to watch Beavis and Butt head (it was in the early 90's).

I had bad gas, which is par for the course for me. I don't know why I didn't just excuse myself to get up and go to the bathroom to try and let some of it out. I just sat on the couch pressing my butt into the cushion as I was laughing hysterically at B&B. Eventually, the pressure got to be too much, and before I knew what was happening a big, loud, snapping fart was rolling out of my ass for all to hear.

I was so embarrassed. I asked my date who was next to me if he thought anyone heard, and his buddy who was across the room said "well done". OMFG - they called me Wind Jammer from that day on.

Another terrible date. I went to a movie with a guy. Afterwards we walked across a field to get back to his car. We got into his tiny little VW golf and as we began to drive, all I could smell was shit. Pungent and nauseating dog shit. I figured I had it on my shoe. I tried a move my legs as far away from him as possible, toward the passenger side door. When I got out of the car, I saw that I had shit smeared all the way up my boot, and undoubtedly all over the inside of his car. OOPS! Never went out with him again.
Hope this gives you something to work with!

Dearest worst date number two submitter! YOU are the worst date!!! HAHAHA It's a good thing I know you are you are super cute and hot, you probably get away with your ass farting! Men probably think it's "cute" aww she farted. LOL

The only reason I have not slept over is fear that you will come to me in my sleep and fart and hold the blankets tightly around my face! I know this demon is in you, after spending the night at your house in the spare room and your sister randomly put her moon over the side of the upper bunk bed randomly while I was sleeping.

VValentines Chat..By GVixen

I have to say, Valentine's Day this year depresses me. I typically make a big bang on all holidays.
If I am single on Valentines Day I will have some sort of pink party, give cards to my friends, bring my mom something nice, send my kids chocolate. Grown Men love chocolate and pink boxers from their mum.
My boys love receiving silly things, and they are grown men.

I typically have Chinese new year packages made up for all my friends.

This year I'm not into it.  I am not going to change who I am, I do love giving.
This has been fine for the last 5 years. This year, I am very tired, over working and quite frankly on a budget. I choose one person to receive all the benefits of Chinese new year, and I will choose one for Valentines Day.

Today as I enter Oak Ridge mall to grab a coffee, it looks like the flower lady rode in on her pink dragon,
the entire entrance has gorgeous flowers, cookies cakes..chocolate and gifts. I walk past depressed.

I have dated very few men who actually want to do things for their sweetie- YES its commercial, yes it can be over the top- however it can be done simple, to show someone you care also.

Last year I got my lover ( I call him my lover, because he never called me his girlfriend, this should of been a fucking clue)  A huge card, some chocolate, silly stuff and POP Rocks, I was thinking of a randy night of pleasure and apparently these are fun to use during a blow job. He jerked saying at first it tickled and bumped me in the nose, then went on to say- I feel nothing-these are lame.

I guess I had some sort of expectations, and well it sucked. This is the problem- having those expectations.
I think you should just put it out there on what type of person you are, and what you expect out of a relationship and then you will never be disappointed again.

One year, "Post it note" finance, said" What do you want??" I said is it really that fucking hard for you?
"Go to Peoples Jewellers, get a dam heart necklace..go to the flower shop..take the kids shopping.."

I had turned into a hag...because I felt sick, I had to ask, and he went and got me a tacky diamond heart necklace, I was touched- but I was also upset the whole holiday. If I had just come home to a small surprise, it would of been fine.

I tend to go over the top in everything..in past I would be highly disappointed that my partner did not do the same.

I have learned in life, "Expect nothing, Accept everything"

My way of thinking was a UN necessary superficial way of thinking. For women, this holiday is more about the flowers, cards..This is the one day they want to feel that they have been appreciated the entire year.
For being a mother...cleaning the house...caring for each other...

If you do not have a boyfriend, you can always feel good in celebrating with friends. Most times I had my cheap little cards all done, all my goodies of chocolate and maybe something silly for all my friends.

This year I am having a POST Valentines party..I simply don't have the time.
I would make the time if I was in a relationship of coarse, but I'm not. I saw a 70+ senior buying two dozen roses today for his sweetheart, touched me totally...and this is why I left sad.

For the record, GVixen- Expect full attention and being fully spoiled rotten on this day, why? Because I fucking deserve it. This is what I will put out in any future relationships for sure. Unless we are in a third world country saving the less fortunate.

The truth is I do love most holidays, except Christmas- maybe one day that will change.


 
Leaving you with the WORST dating profiles in history!

Wishing you all a Happy Valentines Day!
GVix Signing off
XOX


No comments:

Post a Comment