I have always gone for men that are tall, with a little around the waist. Men with Just a small soft area enough to make him slightly in secure- the reason is I am insecure of my baby marks and tiny muffin top.
However I have dated fat men. Not all over fat, but fat in areas.
I tend to fall in love with personalities rather than looks, and well..Fat...it can go away-seriously.
One occasion, getting ready for my third time in bed with my partner many years ago. There was a mirror, and as he was taking off his socks I could see his belly cascading over his nut sack that looked like a beet ready to pop.
This image still haunts me to this day, and that night, I totally focused on his beautiful face and smile and everything else I enjoyed about him.
You can put women in the same choice of action- like the one time, my friend said, “oh god move your arm- I don’t like the way it’s looking”. What had happened is my underarm was resting on a chair, and the “flap” had moved forward. This is what happens to arms in women (never men) if you don’t work out, Ok so I took a fucking year off from the gym-whooptie do. My arm’s not like that now.
It’s like fucking bat wings; Women should NEVER slump over and look in mirror-good times. Fuck.
This person for some reason always made me feel very insecure-like I was never good enough-
The truth is they did this to me because of their own insecurities. Quite frankly the man did not deserve me and knew I deserved better, which I did-This was stated many times over. There is a book called
Co dependency by a very well known psychiatrist here in Vancouver-the word is different on so many levels-The book can almost affect anyone in everyday life, in or not in a relationship.
The point is, after being hurt from the past-people sometimes self sabotage relationships in the present. This is because they don’t feel they deserve better, or they become attracted to the negative attention- because it is some sort of attention.
The person may know this is not the right person for them-or in my case at the time, as a mental health professional-I felt, I could fix the problem, because I really did see a beautiful person. This is not good either. In reality you should be enjoying the person you are and putting self value in this alone- then the person who will enlighten your life and give you joy- you will just meet-at random. I have recently met someone such as this who is only a friend- but I am contagiously happy as soon as I see their face.
Several months ago I just decided-of what I truly want. I want someone who is going to support me in my massive workload not criticizing me for it –or stat “I am just not getting enough sex” Yeah that was the nut sack-go figure.
Anyway, fortunately my X was very active and shortly after dating he somehow lost the belly.
I have dated the pear body; this is a man who has no muscle tone to his upper body, love handles that blend into his waist line, and no ass. A sharp dresser can hid this easily-by the time you probably get naked you are already sucked into the petting and charm and don’t even notice.
It’s all fine and dandy to date a chubby- but will they hike to the top of a mountain when need be?
Will they withstand hot heat and treks? Can you honestly say you will live to be a 100 because you pump your heart everyday with oxygen and nutrients?
I mean really, after a certain point you’re not looking for a fucking couch potato here.
And believe it or not, bachelors in their late 30s to mid forties can still be avid gamers-beware females...
This is a sign of hell in your private life.
In the summer I shut off my cable, Internet and home phone- it’s to prevent me from being a couch potato when I should be outside. If I need to go on the net, I will just have to go to a funky coffee shop and enjoy amazing atmosphere.
I do not believe in cable in the summer- Internet, possibly.
I remember a time I used to come home from work, put dinner on, have a bath, put my shows on and pass out on the couch-those days have been over for 5 years.
As well as the chips, popcorn and whatever other junk food sitting in the house.
Now back to fat men. I understand if my man gains 20 pounds over Christmas and thanksgiving-
Winter is the time to start getting it off after the food to be ready for summer, is it not? I don’t mind, long as the fat comes off. Women do not obtain fat well-and let’s be real here- if you want wicked sex, get into shape.
At 35, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, I had just got dumped, and I was off to my sister’s wedding and I was rapidly gaining weight, I think I was up to 165, on a 5’3 girl this was not good. One picture of me at a bar with me and my sisters, I have a full blown gunt.
I was tired, really tired. There are two kinds of fat in women. There are the voluptuous women who are large, but toned because they do so much- they are comfortable with their weight, they enjoy food and they look beautiful all the time, fat or not. They are proportioned, boobs equals ass =equals arms, legs.
Then there is the sick fat. The fat that gives five bumps to one ass. The no boob at and flat wide ass that says I do nothing and I like it.
The so fat there are horrible veins threw out the calf’s.
In men, the hard Prego belly- now I looked this up-this is very serious-and my dear dad had one many years ago-and this was when he was in shape! Yes he worked out every day, had biceps hard as rocks and was very active!
This fat grows under the abdominal muscles which causes the hardness. This condition can cause diabetes and heart failure, sleep apnea.
Also causes gout.
It is from too many calories and sugar, when of course the body is not producing insulin.
My sister was vegan for awhile and I tried her food, it was delicious with veggies lentils and beans-so good..This lovely food comes with the worse smelling gas on the face of the earth. You don’t need to cut meat entirely!
Then there is the raw diet- tells me though, how would you feel sitting by your date and a raw steak comes to the table, bloody and blue-no thanks.
I cut pork, ham, bacon of coarse regular ground beef. That’s it!
I eat a lot of game, and fish, I limit extra lean beef to once a week, and thin steak slices once a week- portioned.
Alcohol intake-huge factor, and sugar- I have failed on the sugar, tried splenda- not good, tried Stevia-sorry I don’t like coffee tasting like licorice. Alcohol, I have tried to limit to every second week if that.
Sweets I limit to fruit or dried fruit-if I’m really craving.
I have had some “fat men” message me lately, cute actually. The truth is the men look really really fun! On a bike or hike...still large however. In all the pictures they are active. The beet nut sack is still very vivid in my mind. I have not responded, even though I receive the sweetest messages- but if I say how I truly feel they will just call me a shallow bitch. At 44, I’d like to have a team partner in life.
My activities have reached a plateau, even with my bad feet-and I seriously will not settle for someone who will not be a part of every aspect of my life.
I mean we don’t have to work out together, but an after hot tub would be nice. I will own one again!
So there you have it, we are back with the wanting to change someone-“I will not put myself there!!”
I will just, not settle for less than my match. :) This is an average guy who can climb Mount Everest!
I do have many friends in my life who are “my chubby “who I love dearly and cuddle and rub the belly for good luck- and recently I have had talks with them how I am scared for their health- that I truly hope they will be in my life a long time.
I hate to say it but Vancouver is becoming more like LA-Superficial and all that jazz-
Men are looking for an image and so are women and its tough out there- I am not referring to this type of beauty. I am referring to the one that comes from inside and maintains a healthy lifestyle.
I do not think a person has to go to the gym every day, 2-3 times a week, or outside hiking-
I do think yoga is important at least twice a week, because as we get older –our body loses the ability to stretch- which I will soon re join my club of evilness next week. If a person did yoga 3 times a week, there would be no back pain, no stiffness, a good sleep- and if you cannot does yoga just yet- try breathing. This is the hardest task to learn.
This is my story on Fat Men-I truly hoped you enjoyed it.
Signing off GVix