Jan 20, 2012

Dysfunctional Journal week 2

Helicopter Girl / Umbrellas In The Rain by Various on Grooveshark
Well day three of Champex, pretty sure this shit fucks with your mind. 30 mins after, I am tired,  Immense headache and lost it several times today. Apparently you smoke for a week and all of a sudden you magically forget-I call acid. yup fucking acid. I checked my sugar levels..thinking sugarbeties attack..way too low...I have also come to realize there is a reason why 80% of Mental Health Care Professionals are alcoholics.

So I have had 1.5 glasses of wine and I am pleasantly pissed. My son just told me that Champex, when full in effect does a spatter across the brain-encyclopedic of ZAK...yeah hes slightly drunk too, anyway, hes says its a small price to pay to quit smoking. However there is a slight chance that all cravings in the brain will be lost forever.

I recently dated a with a man who has been on champex for a year on and off, I did not see any less cravings it appears, in fact more so in somethings. They say cigarettes can be replaced with things suck as ..pot,..sex..food. This better be done after 12 weeks or I'm going to sue, that's all I'm saying. My son also say's champex is the same as lazering, but in pill form..just hit a few of those sensoring areas..to fuck with your brain.

Note to self: this blog may be unreadable by morning.

On a different note, do you think we chose our partners based on the fact of how fucked up we feel?
Just saying, cause I apparently still have my guy radar off. Or do we pick our partners based on similarities?
Hidden ones? I don't know what to think anymore, I do know I feel pretty good these dayz with how my life is going..the good old direction is great, great start for 2012. The rest just needs to equal out, for fuck sake.

Yup..gonna talk about my day-cause its all about me!! lol

I start off waking up late, take my Champex n vitamins..hot shower-ill, I feel clammy..I test my blood-LOW
I call work, having some diabetic issues I will be late. Boss says, wheres budget? I realize my head was up my ass yesterday and did payroll, scheduling..and oops..forgot budget. I lie down, say I'm on my way, rush to site..start doing budget. Then I rush to the head office and drop it off, run into the hot director and look like shit-FUCK! I tell my boss, my Rig( needles) will now have to be on site. She gives me a look like I'm full of shit..anyway I leave. I have a flash of stabbing her in the eye with the needle...see Champex...I swear..not kidding here, who has visions of that shit????

I Train the 4 staff for the day how to fix me if I pass out, foam at the mouth or slowly die off after dinner-
they said they got this, all is well.

I get to site and well, stuff is going on outside my door, then I realize the oak table that seat's 10 is being rammed up against the door and the office is being ransacked. I have 3 staff on and 4 clients, one staff is wimpy-so I vacate her to leave. Due to confidentiality..I cannot give detains, which you probably dont want to know anyway. The house was ransacked, 5 police came and ambulance with 3 more attendants. The end result left me sad. I take pride of high behaviors..and well allot of work has gone in.

This is like a fail situation and I truly believe that changes in environment have a huge play in this. I also realize that we have changed allot and possibly with some greater problem solving, the new changes can be fixable.

I do what is called a CIR-Critical Incident Report, this is the hardest part, you write a report that is completely factual with no assumption, suggestive thought, or feelings. Well I have allot of thought, so that blows.

Now I am here with glass of wine in hand, contemplating how I am going to move my shit if a snow storm hits Vancouver. Well and some other stuff. I have a new assortment of text messages that leave me entertained, shall I share? Sure why not.

Latest: Your tits are important, you are wrong!!

This is from my bud in Terrace who insists I send him a picture of my tits..like why do men ask these things?
I told him he has the pick of the crop in women, and I am not sending a pic of my tits. I don't even have any..gawd. I gather he may be a tad interested in me..crazy shocking story. Like really??

Mile long smile-any one remember him? X finance, 7 years. Well he is recently decided that he wants to be friends with benefits, coarse this is the man where his dick didn't work for a year, then he had no sex..yadda yadda..
well, we are friends, crazy..its just too funny to pass up, and for some strange reason I get along with the man, I think I always did-Good Convo- but he is a ass. He just asks me what I am doing every weekend.

I decided to go for a casual drink, however he did buy dinner..of coarse. Good chats, gave me a ride home, walked to the door and said if you invite me in I dont mind. so I did for like 5 mins to say goodbye-my son came home...Drunk..."motherfucker! what are you doing in my house?" this is the man who was the step dad for 7 years and walked out. shit. So I respect my son. But I also feel that keeping enemies and anger is not healthy and to forgive will bring love in. He agreed to be a follower of my blog, cause its number 13 and he likes the number, I said too bad it wasn't your shoe size..Oops. Then he told me I have a fat ass?? I wear a size 6? crazy.

Then there is my employee, remember Bob?
Gvix: shift 9-3 can you do it?
Bob: where the fuck is_____________?
Gvix: gone
Bob: he is not on FB, tell me WTF happened?
Gvix: why do you insist on having full conversations in text? your going to have to CALL ME
Bob: Pardon me, I don't like talking on the phone!
Gvix: Pardon me, I don't like to text!
For some strange reason each of my employees have their own opinion of who I should date, and the reasons why..oh gawd it goes on and on..this is what it would be like if I had 4 brothers.
Bob: goes for funny, style and compassion-he reads into this shit by reviewing a persons facebook or other internet information.
Yogi goes for wealth-set up
well the Christen..I might as well wear a Chasity belt..but for some reason, he knows when I got laid, I come in and I get the look. This is a man whose never had sex. I have had sex with 2 men in 4 years, but some how I feel like a dirty HO.

Then, I get this message from the Russian, who was at the POF dance, he decides to ask me on a date-
He asked if I wanted to go to the taboo show. lol..Why the hell would I want to go to a sex show on the first date? and look at dildos with a complete stranger????

I actually did once, but the date was not there, I was working there, and agreed to meet someone to go to dinner after my shift of selling jewellery. I said no, I have absolutely no interest in going with you to the taboo show-I would go with my intimate partner, why not, be fun..but a date? seriously, show some class.

I really do not want to be single a day longer.




Ok, well now that work is done
I think I brightened my friends day
I told my X to think of confidence in himself and not his recent loses
I told my other friend I loved her
I called my mom
I pet my puppys face
I am ready for bed.

GVix..Signing off
xox

4 comments:

  1. Champix made me act like an ass. I hear it's a possible side affect in some. Drinking was a total no no for me. Being an ass to start with you can imagine how bad it was if even I noticed. In the end, still smoking and being mildly ass like. Good luck baby!

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  2. Well, I will do the starter pack..see how it goes. However If I have one more little episode..Ill go back to doc and see if it is messing with my sygarbetties.

    The patch seems to work well for me, except the things annoy my skin.

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  3. If you use vitamin e cream on the areas where you are going to put the patch, it should help with irritation. just the tiniest bit of cream. Rub it in really good so there is no greasy felling and apply the patch.

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  4. Update on the champex..well I think I slept 18hrs today, went to bed at 11 last night slept till 8am..moved around, passed out from noon to 330. Then I got up and went back to bed from 6pm to 930..it is now 12am and I am ready for my 8hrs sleep..little worried, so I called health link BC. Main reason people go off champex is tiredness and lethargic. I am only on day 4 so I can stop..feel like a fat blob..shit if I start twice a day, I will be dead. I re-ordered my patch's and will just do what works. The reports on google about depression and crap is out of this world..I dont believe in drugs for a reason..they might find a cancerous tumor somewhere in my brain later-Ill stay natural. Nite Nite.

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